>For Wendy Varley, and her partner Ian, having Milo was a joyful and healing experience

Having lost my baby Otto last year at 39 wks (he died before I went into labour), the consultant decided that I should be induced at 38 weeks this time.

Getting started

I had four doses of Prostin vaginally given over two days, starting on Friday morning, which brought on mild contractions (but no 'oomph' according to midwife). By Saturday night they were wearing off again, the cervix didn't seem all that ripe, and Milo's head still hadn't engaged. I reconciled myself to a C-section on Sunday morning.

When the consultant examined me the next day, my cervix was far more stretchy than before. We agreed he would break my waters and get me on a syntocinon drip to get contractions moving, and we would go for a normal delivery after all.

No pain relief needed

I wanted to avoid pain relief if possible as I knew from past experience that I didn't like gas and air; I didn't want pethidine in case it made the baby sleep or spaced me out; and I knew I'd recover quicker afterwards if I didn't have an epidural.

My waters were broken at 10.30am, and they were clear, no meconium, no sign of distress, and the midwife assured me Milo's heart rate was fine. The build-up was fast after that and at some point I felt a kind of 'clunk' as Milo's head engaged.

Cheering him on

From then on we were off on a fast, intense journey, during which I chomped on ice cubes, clung on to Ian and my fantastic midwife Judith, and pushed with all my might. When the urge came, I was chanting 'Come on Milo! You've got to come out now, we can do this baby! Come ONNNN!' I've never felt more urgency in my whole life.

And it was so fast - 3 hours 20 minutes after the contractions began, he was out, surprised, shocked (the cord had been round his neck) but ALIVE, wonderful and gorgeous, weighing exactly 8lbs.

Sucky baby

Within minutes Judith had him sucking on her finger, and then my breast, where he latched on like a pro. Ian and I spent a blissful hour and a half with our precious boy just gazing at this miraculous new life.

The downside of rapid delivery was that he had a bit of fluid in his lungs (it hadn't all been squeezed out on way down) and he needed a little extra oxygen until the fluid dispersed. So he went into special care, but is now absolutely fine. We've established breastfeeding and it is just so blissful tending to my little man, feeding and gazing at his perfect contented face.

Poignant start

I have had some emotional moments since he has been born. The most poignant was going into Milo's room when we first got home - it was decorated for Otto last year and we didn't want to change it. I know that if Otto had lived, Milo would not be here now, so I feel as if my two sons will always have this very special link.

The other really emotional part was Milo being in special care, because once again I was on the maternity ward without a baby, while the other mums were all bustling around their own babes. But knowing it was only temporary, I coped okay, and I never doubted for a minute that Milo would be fine.

I did have some doubts about being induced nearly two weeks early - felt like I was disturbing him before he was ready. But then I know I couldn't have coped with the stress of going full-term, having lost Otto so close to term last year. So I do think it was the right decision.

Love and healing

I can't describe how healing this has all been. Finally I'm smiling and meaning it, and I've given Milo life and can care for him, feed him, love him, hold him. I've longed for this moment.