Whether you're a fan of Beckham's barnet, Gary Breen's bottom or Ferdinand's free kicks, get set to banter with the best of them this World Cup with Mark Sylvester's guide to homegrown talent
The England Team | The Republic of Ireland Team |
| David Seaman | Shay Given |
| Rio Ferdinand | Gary Breen |
| Sol Campbell | Steve Finnan |
| Ashley Cole | Ian Harte |
| Danny Mills | Steve Staunton |
| David Beckham | Damien Duff |
| Nicky Butt | Matt Holland |
| Kieron Dyer | Roy Keane |
| Paul Scholes | Jason McAteer |
| Emile Heskey | Robbie Keane |
| Michael Owen | Niall Quinn |
The England Team In an age when most footy players resemble rejects from Pop Stars, David Seaman is a reassuring throwback to the way footballers used to look - big, ugly, and, best of all, he has a moustache. Unfortunately, the keeper known as Safe Hands lets himself down with the worst ponytail in world football, it is believed that the inspiration for this spectacular specimen came from his wife Deborah. His made-for-comedy name inspired a famous footy joke after former Spurs player Nayim kicked the ball over him to score from the halfway line. Hence, 'Who can lob Seaman from 50 yards?' All said, though, Seaman is a great keeper who saved penalties against Scotland and Spain in the Euro '96 tournament. Great at crosses, if he doesn't come too early - whoops. Rio Ferdinand 'His name is Rio and he dances on the sand' is just one of the songs that hasn't been sung about Rio Ferdinand. So don't sing it unless you want to be surrounded by blank looks. Now an established fixture in the England team, Rio's budding international career almost faltered under previous England coach Kevin Keegan when he was implicated in an alcopops guzzling incident before a match. Football fans were shocked, because they thought he should have been drinking lager. Rio became the most expensive defender in the world when he signed for Leeds from West Ham for £18 million in November 2000. He remains single to concentrate on his football, which is characterised by great skill and amazing balance for a big man. Sol Campbell When Sulzeer Jeremiah Campbell, for such is his full name, moved from Tottenham to bitter rivals Arsenal he provoked supporters to hurl foul-mouthed abuse and sing rude songs - so no change there then. After a poor start to his Arsenal career Sol has settled down, and at 6ft 2in and more than 14 stone he has a commanding presence on the pitch, is strong in the air and skilful on the ground. Should be in the Guinness Book of Records for causing the greatest number of people ever to leap in the air at exactly the same time, and then shout 'b*****ks' five seconds later. That happened when he 'scored' what would have been the winning goal against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup, only to have it disallowed for a foul by Alan Shearer.
Ashley Cole Another member of Arsenal's double-winning team, Ashley has been plagued with injuries, including a damaged knee last season that could have scuppered his World Cup ambitions. His inclusion in the England squad, along with West Ham's midfielder Joe Cole, has led some conspiracy theorists to claim that the subsequent dropping of striker Andy Cole - are you keeping up - by Sven-Goran Eriksson was the work of commentators who believed there were collectively too many Coles. This is, of course, nonsense. Ashley is an exciting left-back, who loves to break forward down the wing, providing support for the midfield and attackers. He has reasonably good tackle according to the string of attractive girls he's dated, which is strange because a lot of them didn't seem to watch football. Danny Mills More fouls - and differently spelled ones at that - than a Bernard Matthews' turkey farm to his name, Danny Mills can't help getting into trouble on the pitch; yellow cards rain down on him like confetti. He's been shown 26 in two seasons at Leeds, along with a red one. Some call him competitive, while others have another word for him, also beginning with 'c'. This tough-tackling right-back has been given his chance of a place in England's starting line-up due to Gary Neville's injury. Out of international reckoning for two years, Mills was drafted back into the squad for a friendly against Mexico in May last year, and showed undoubted ability. He's a good player if he doesn't lose his head, or knock another player's off. David Beckham David Robert Joseph Beckham, aka Mr. Posh Spice, is England's talismanic captain. Known as Golden Balls because he has amazing passing ability, Beckham has matured from being a petulant pain to one of the greatest players ever to pull on an England shirt. He dribbles even better than son Brooklyn, and leads the team by example.He plays with different boots, worth £300 every game, and they helped him record one of the fastest shots in history when he scored against Chelsea in February 1997. The ball was clocked at a net-busting 97.9mph. The Study of David Beckham is part of a football culture module for a degree course at Staffordshire University. Up until recently if you asked what a metatarsal was, they might say a small winged dinosaur, but thanks to Becks' injury your average bus conductor can now sculpt this particular foot bone from used tickets. And they say football isn't educational.
Nicky Butt Baby-faced Butt claims to be 27, but many believe he's 15 and only claims to be older so he can drive a Ferrari, play for Manchester United and get paid £25,000 a week. To be fair, there is evidence that he first played for The Reds way back in 1992, which gives weight to his claims. He was given his first England cap against Mexico in 1997, and is a fierce and dogged competitor, rather than a gifted performer like his midfield teammates Beckham and Scholes. Only likely to make the starting line-up this summer due to Steven Gerrard's injury, but won't let anyone down. Nicky was recently at the centre of a fracas at the Deansgate Locks venue in Manchester, when two girls scrapped for his attention. Unfortunately his name can make him the Butt of jokes. A brave decision by Mr. Eriksson to play Butt and Seaman at the same time. At 5ft 10in he's one of the biggest Butts you'll see on a football pitch. Kieron Dyer Another of the fledgling internationals that Sven-Goran Eriksson has brought through onto the world stage, Dyer's brilliant skills on the ball can tease, tantalise and terrify defenders. If you say, 'His surging runs down the flanks help to keep the opposition midfield on the back foot', you can't go wrong. Dyer has recently come into contention as one of the first names on Mr. Eriksson's team sheet, and has seized the opportunity with both hands. And seizing with both hands is something he is apparently good at, judging from numerous press reports of his antics with willing young women both in Tyneside and on Mediterranean holidays. Paul Scholes Known as the Ginger Prince to Manchester United fans, Paul Scholes is a stealthy predator, who, if you'll pardon the expression, likes to come late into the box. Probably the most attacking of the Manchester United midfield contingent, he likes to live up to the song that United fans have coined for him, which goes 'He scores goals galore'. Luckily Scholes is a much better player than the United fans are lyricists, and he has made an England place his by right. He scored twice on his United debut against Ipswich in 1994, and also on his England debut against Italy in 1997. A more ominous statistic is that he was sent off against Sweden - England's first World Cup opponents - in 1999. You can't go wrong if you liken him to a modern Martin Peters.
Emile Heskey Being black and muscular has meant that the ever-imaginative football fans have nicknamed Emile Heskey 'Bruno'. Mind you, his parents saddled him with the full name Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey, so he's quite used to having a mad moniker. Heskey is a forward in the traditional mould that older folk harp on about. You know, the days when footballs were made of proper leather and weighed the same as a Volkswagen Beetle when they got wet. He unsettles defences with his pace and power and is deceptively skilful. He's also unselfish and often passes up a scoring opportunity if a teammate is better placed - a rare thing for a striker. Michael Owen In a recent piece of research on heroes by the people who make Wagon Wheel biscuits, Michael Owen was voted England's top hero by schoolboys. This is possibly because they can relate to him, on the grounds that he is the same size as the average schoolboy. Size, however, doesn't count when you have the pace and skill of Michael Owen. The Liverpool lad was voted Young Player of the Year in 2001. His three goals against Germany in the 5-1 World Cup qualifying win last year, was the first time an Englishman has scored a hat trick against the old enemy since Geoff Hurst in the 1966 World Cup final. A happy omen is that he also scored against Argentina, England's first round opponents and cup favourites this time, during the World Cup in France in 1998.
Shay Given Seamus John Given is now a bigger hero in Ireland than Terry Wogan after pulling off great saves from Ali Karimi and Karim Dagheri of Iran, which ensured the team from the Emerald Isle qualified for the World Cup. As Shay warmed up behind the goal before that game in Tehran he waved happily at Iranian supporters letting off celebratory fireworks close by. It was only later he discovered they had been throwing grenades. Given is good at claiming crosses, and is also a good shot stopper. However, do not attempt to say this while eating or drinking anything, as it sounds like 'he is a good gob-stopper'. I know because I've done it. Gary Breen Most commentators say Breen likes to play with the ball, which is lucky since he's a footballer. What they mean is he's happiest when he has the ball at his feet, and can play his way out of defence. He's not one of those 'if in doubt, kick it out' merchants, which, while entertaining, can sometimes get him into trouble. Frankly, Gary's known for his clangers, and we don't mean the little sock puppets. He can, on occasion, give his supporters collective heart attacks by giving the ball away.However, he passes well, reads the game well, and his 43 caps for Ireland testify to his experience. Oh, and he has a right foot so cultured it could sing opera. Steve Finnan Despite his twinkling Irish eyes Steve's a single man, preferring to concentrate on football. This has paid off, since he was named Fulham's Player of the Year and is one of the apples of Irish manager Mick McCarthy's eye. Steve's a bit of an attacking back, but can also play as a defensive midfielder, and this clever cocktail of football skills makes him invaluable to the team. It can also make him a bit confused and he occasionally drifts out of position quite badly. Some supporters claim to have spotted him in the car park when he should have been marshalling the defence. But he's quick, strong, and can cross the ball well.
Ian Harte Ian 'The Body' Harte is the pin-up boy of Irish football. A typical comment on the Leeds United chat room is this: 'Hi, I'm Marione, and I'm from the Netherlands. I find that Ian is a great player...a matter of fact he's very handsome too, and I hope for him to come to Holland soon.' So there you have it. However, Hart-y, as you can probably get away with calling him, is a bit more than that. He has a great left foot, and is noted for his 'dead ball' skills - nothing sinister, it just means he takes the free kicks, corners and penalties. Some people think he's a bit vulnerable when wingers run at him, but he does have a great body, so who cares. Unfortunately married. Steve Staunton According to his manager he has a massive presence in the changing room, but that's probably something that they should keep between themselves. In an age of fresh-faced footballers Stan, as he is known, is a real veteran. He joined Liverpool in 1986, the year that Michael Owen first went to school, and held a regular place in the first team before moving to Villa. Steve played in all four games for Ireland during the 1994 World Cup in the US, and is a renowned crosser of the ball. He's solid at the back, but wife Joanne says that can be cured with a bowl of high-fibre cereal. Damien Duff Duffo may sound like an old coat you find at the bottom of your dad's wardrobe, but rest assured, he isn't. The energetic young midfielder has class running through him like a stick of Brighton rock, and has made a reputation for himself by scoring spectacular goals. He's fast, and always makes himself available to receive the ball, something that team mates appreciate. Looks to have a big future in the Ireland team. Matt Holland Matt's such a nice lad that his wife Paula is travelling to the Far East so she can be near him during the World Cup. The Ipswich Town skipper is a hard-working midfielder who scores the odd goal. However, there was nothing odd about the goal he blasted against Portugal in a World Cup qualifier that helped ensure he would be on the plane to Japan. Matt likes to run at defenders and has good close control. Often plays with his socks rolled down, so is easy to spot on a small screen across a crowded bar.
Roy Keane What can we say about Roy Keane? What can we say about Roy Keane that won't upset him? Because you don't want to upset him - Alan Shearer did that and got chinned for his trouble. Keano is a former amateur boxer, and his fiery nature is part and parcel of his game. A red card in the semi-final of the Champions' League against Juventus in 1997 meant he missed the final, and he was also sent off in the semi-final of the FA Cup for stamping on Gareth Southgate. But there is no doubting his ability and when the great Maradona saw him playing in the 1994 World Cup he told his manager: 'Buy him, together we play good.' Named Player of the Year in 2000, Keane is the heart and soul of the Irish team, a selfless runner, great passer of the ball, and when he tackles you can feel it in the stands. Jason McAteer Birkenhead-born Jason Wyn McAteer only qualifies to play for Ireland through his grandparents, but nobody is complaining. He scored the crucial goal that saw Ireland beat Holland and qualify for the World Cup play-off against Iran. Famous for dating satellite TV presenters, Jason has been a bit of a darling of the ad world, modelling designer clothing and doing an advert for Wash and Go shampoo. A good pass and level head are his main qualities. He wears lucky underpants for every game, and this could account for the fact that opposition defenders rarely seem to want to get close to him.
David Seaman
Goalkeeper; aged 38; club: Arsenal
Central defender; aged 23; club: Leeds
Central defender; aged 28; club: Arsenal
Defender; aged 22; club: Arsenal
Defender; aged 23; club: Leeds
Midfield; aged 27; club: Manchester United
Midfielder; aged 27; club: Manchester United
Midfielder; aged 23; club: Newcastle
Midfielder; aged 27; club: Manchester United
Striker; aged 23; club: Liverpool
Striker; aged 22; club: Liverpool
Goalkeeper; aged 26; club: Newcastle
Centre back; aged 28; club: Coventry
Defender; aged 26; club: Fulham
Defender; aged 24; club: Leeds
Defender/midfielder; aged 33; club: Aston Villa
Midfielder. Aged 23. Club: Blackburn.
Midfielder; aged 28; club: Ipswich
Midfielder; aged 31; club: Manchester United
Midfielder; aged 31; club: Sunderland