Be warned: fostering is a 24-hour, seven-days-a-week job

Fostering should not be undertaken lightly. Apart from the obvious pressures of being a parent to an unfamiliar child, there are also many obstacles to be overcome in the foster parent selection process.

The third degree
When considering fostering, the first step is to make enquiries at your local social services department or a private fostering agency in your area. Whatever you do, a social worker will come calling. They will quiz you on:

• why you want to foster
• the practicalities – how many bedrooms you have in your house, for instance

The questioning of your motives will be direct. There is no room for defensiveness here. The social workers need to investigate you thoroughly, and rightly so. You are putting yourself in a position of trust.

This can be intimidating. Society and the law – as represented by social services – are suddenly there in your life and home, sitting in judgement. You must remember that they mean well. They just have to be very careful about who they place their trust in. You must be prepared for a rather intrusive probing of your private life.

This process can take weeks or months to complete: the third degree meted out in two-hour sessions, twice a week. But finally, a formal assessment – known as an F1 – is put together and to presented to a panel.

Training
During the assessment, you will be required to undertake training, to heighten your awareness of the problems a child faces, and brings with it, when it arrives in your care.

If you are successful in getting through the panel, the training becomes more in-depth. Depending on your agency or local authority, and the budgets and constraints under which they work, the opportunities for training might include some of the following subjects:

• Child protection
• Life story work
• Dealing with conflict
• Emotional and behavioural problems
• First aid, health and safety
• Safe caring
• Transactional analysis
• Collaboration building techniques
• Personal and professional development
• Attachment disorder
• Managing potentially violent incidents
• Education and the looked-after Child
• Listening skills

However, it doesn’t stop there. You will probably never stop learning. All kinds of tips and strategies will be on offer – every one of them a lifeline.

Local authority or private agency?
Generally, if you want an easier time, foster from the local authority. But be warned, local authority support can be very poor, due to its restricted budget and lack of resources. On the other hand, a private fostering agency like North-East Foster Care Associates (NEFCA) offers 24-hour backup and support. They also provide outreach workers and respite care, to give carers a breathing space in which to have a nervous breakdown.

Agency carers receive more money, but the job is far more taxing. Also they are expected have a recognised qualification or at least be willing to do the course. So it’s back to college for starters.

You will be expected to attend the training days laid on by the agency, too, and it would be unwise to miss them. You will need all the advice you can get, for the children you foster from an agency will be those with the most challenging behaviour. The local authority, being the first port of call for a child coming into care, will try their own pool of carers first, and only when they fail to place the child will they turn to the more expensive agency.

Local authorities are turning to agencies with more and more frequency, with their own carers decamping to more lucrative agency pastures or giving up altogether, due to lack of support.

Breaking the fall
Fostering is a 24-hour, seven-days-a-week job and, if you’re considering fostering, you will need to rely on your personal support system of family and friends. It’s immensely stimulating, but you will need stamina and energy just to survive. You shouldn’t be terrified, but you must not take your commitment lightly either.

In Stockton – our local authority – one in every ten children ends up in care: a shocking statistic. Society’s structure is unravelling and its young are falling through the ‘safety net’. As foster carers, we are there at the bottom to break their fall.