Move on - bring about specific changes in your life

'Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.' Doris Lessing

Over the past few weeks you've done a lot of thinking about yourself, who you are, who you want to be and what you need to do to bring out the best in yourself. That's absolutely terrific. You may be thinking about specific changes that you'd like to bring about in your life.

Remember: the essence of reinvention is change. Sometimes the changes we bring about are so dramatic we move way beyond the place we were born in, the lifestyle of our parents and childhood pals. That's not to say we are ashamed of our origins. It's simply that we needed to move beyond them. When I was ten I decided I would leave Northern Ireland as soon as I was grown up. I instinctively knew I had to leave to grow up. A small village may be where you start out, but it's where you going that counts.

A fresh start
It's vital to feel that you're living in the right place - for you. If you've made changes to how you see yourself and you want to live differently, you might need to consider moving on. Nearly 20 years ago, I lived a very counter-culture life in a large house with other like-minded people. Our house was more like a drop-in centre than a home, which I loved. Smoking' herbal cigarettes' into the early hours was a great way to live - until I decided it wasn't anymore. As soon as I decided to be different, give up the cigarettes etc, I had to move on. Living in that house, but being a different person just couldn't have worked. I left an entire lifestyle and social world behind. I knew I couldn't take people from the old world. They wouldn't fit.

Making a fresh start was my most dramatic reinvention. You might not need to do anything so extreme. Or you might.

Changes on the inside push for expression on the outside.
Transforming yourself and staying with the same people, in the same place, doing the same thing is unlikely to work. Either you will slip back, revert to form, or you'll create tension and struggle between you and the sameness - whether its people, a town or the job you do.

Never underestimate the influence of peer pressure. Without noticing it, you could easily be turning into the person next to you, which may be fine, or may not be. Far better to decide who you intend being first, and then pick people to reinforce and support that. You're always being influenced by those closest to you. Choose your influences wisely.

Avoid being sentimental
Change is good. It's healthy and refreshing. It allows you to move with the stages of your life. Staying put can lead to stagnation. Trading up and getting what you want will not please everyone. You need to handle this; otherwise you'll hold yourself back from making the changes you feel inspired to. Obviously, you may have responsibilities and loved ones to consider but that need not mean abandoning your dreams and schemes. It's all part of the challenge.

It would be naive to assume that everyone is going to be enthusiastic about your changes. Moving on in life can highlight people's own lack of momentum. Their own frustration is only their own discomfort at your pumped-up enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can be irritating to people who feel resigned and frustrated. In this case, it's best not to argue or try to justify your case. In fact, this is the very time to carry out an inventory of the people in your life! Who can stay? Who has to go?

Make two lists of the people in your life. One list is headed energisers; the other drainers.
You will know which list people need to go on, so don't hold back. Include relatives in this listing as well. Get clear on the type of person you're hanging out with. Is it largely with energisers? It needs to be. Be aware that as you change, someone who may have been an energiser for you may have become more of a drainer. There will be a number of people who don't really effect you in any particular way so don't worry too much about these. Concentrate on avoiding the drainers altogether or reducing your exposure to them - dramatically.

Thought for the week
The divine plan of my life is now manifesting.

Well done you for staying the course. Before I sign off, I leave you with a few words from Miss Janis Joplin: 'Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.'