Journeying solo? There's no reason to compromise according to dating columnist Rachel Roberts

I went to my favourite cafe last week, excited about trying something new from the menu. Home-made hummus, slow-roasted vegetables, lightly toasted pitta bread and mediterranean olives sounded perfect.

But my taste buds were the victim of a cruel tease:'You can't have that,' the waitress told me. 'It's for two people, not one.'

My polite - and, I suspect, common request to have it halved was frozen mid-air by the waitress's icy stare. 'Chef pre-prepares it in portions for two,' she explained slowly, just to make sure I understood this time.

I ate my usual omelette and salad (made with just the one egg, I hope), but felt anger prickling on the edges of my mood. No disrespect to cafe-owners, but why is it that we can bomb Iraq with precision missiles, yet a cafe in Brighton can't physically halve some olives and pitta bread? Fair enough, the hummus might be trickier...

I'd already bitten my tongue once, when I'd been shown to the table enjoying spectacular views of the toilet (Eau de Urine with your lunch, madam?) After six years of being single, it's something that happens with depressing predictability. But not being able to eat what I wanted really did take the piss.

It doesn't matter if you have the most positive attitude towards being single - it's often the way society treats you that has the power to turn only into lonely. And that's a feeling echoed by 43 per cent of the single women who took part in the BBC's Single Life Survey, who claimed that they felt they were treated worse than couples.

Don't believe me? Just check out a busy train carriage. The people sitting on their own aren't looking miserable because they are single. They're just trying to hang on to the pop tarts they ate for breakfast because the kind booking person has shoved them in the backward-facing seats.

Not that they should complain. If they were on a rollercoaster, they might be seated next to a complete stranger (to fill the carriage so it makes enough money) and be sprayed by someone else's sick.

But it's not just society that is guilty of Solo-ism. Your nearest and dearest can be the worst offenders.

Take a wedding I went to recently. I chipped in for a lift with a friend and her fella on a five-hour drive to Wales. It's a wonder I didn't get the first reported case of car deep-vein thrombosis after being squashed in the back - a garden gnome would have been pushed for leg room.

They are one of my favourite couples, but it didn't even occur to them to give me a go in the front seat for a little while. There or back. In between, I had the delights of my hotel room to enjoy.

Seems the rip-off supplement I paid for a single room did get me something extra. Non-stop music from the function room beneath me - and a single bed even a sideways Liz Hurley would have been too big for.

The wedding knees-up got me thinking about presents - another annoying thorn in the single person's side. Christmas and birthdays mean buying presents for both people in a couple, so why don't you get two gifts back? And that's even before the engagement, wedding, and christenings. Couples, meanwhile, can give presents jointly, halving the bill for each individual. Giving is most definitely better than receiving when you're part of a pair.

But I've hit on a way to make myself feel better - I'm going to make a list all of my own I'm going to throw a Payback Party in recognition of all the presents I've coughed up for. I'll be able to furnish an empty house with all of the stuff I get.

In the words of Destiny's Child, it is indeed time for all the Independent Ladies (and laddies) to throw their hands up at everyone who treats them differently, just because they're still journeying on life's path on their own.

I think I'll start by going back to that cafe, ordering home-made hummus, slow-roasted vegetables, lightly toasted pitta bread and mediterranean olives, and then ordering the waitress to put exactly half in a bag for me to take home. Being single might mean there's only one of me, but this time, I'm going to have twice the pleasure.