Forbidden to see her beloved granddaughter, Gaynor Turley (cl-gaynort8) fought her son's ex wife, took her case to court - and lost. She shares the emotional toll it cost

I awoke bathed in perspiration with a sinking feeling in my heart. I had been dreaming of my young granddaughter, Katie. In my dream it was a beautiful, sunny day and we were together in the park, feeding the ducks and playing on the swings.

Katie was laughing at my silly antics pretending to be afraid when one of the big ducks got out of the water and started to follow me. Suddenly black clouds gathered and Katie's other gran appeared, took her by the hand and led her away. Katie's little face looked so confused and tears started to fall down her cheeks. At that point I woke up and realised that it was just a dream.

The dream was so real I wanted to cry. Since losing contact with my granddaughter, I dream of her often. Soon it will be her 10th birthday - another milestone that my husband, Geoff, and I will miss. The pain of not seeing her is like a physical yearning, a knife through my heart. I know that sounds dramatic but it is like a bereavement from which you can never move on.

Who would have thought the birth of our beautiful Katie would have brought us so much pain and anguish. On the day Katie was born my son, Robert, had phoned us to say that his fiancee, Amy, had gone into labour. When Geoff and I arrived at the hospital, Amy's mother told us that Amy had just given birth to a beautiful, healthy little girl. We were over the moon as we have five sons and never dreamt that our first grandchild would be a girl. Katie was gorgeous with a mop of white blonde curls. We fell in love with her instantly. The first time I held her I was so happy I thought I would burst.

Our happiness lasted for exactly 15 months. One day Robert informed us that he and Amy were splitting up. Amy went to live with her mother, taking Katie with her, and Rob came home to us. Rob had access to Katie every Sunday so Geoff and I saw her once a week too.

Accused of kidnapping Katie
Geoff's mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer so one Sunday we asked Rob if it would be alright to take Katie to meet her great-grandmother. He agreed and we set off for the 40-minute trip to Cardiff. When we arrived we learned that Amy had phoned saying we must return Katie immediately or she would call the police. We stayed for an hour and returned home.

When we reached home a crowd of people were waiting for us - Amy, her mother, and some of their friends. Amy's mother snatched Katie from me and told Geoff and I that we would never see her again. They accused us of kidnapping Katie. We were horrified. After they left I cried, but I was also angry. From that day on my whole life changed.

The next day Rob and I went to see a solicitor. Rob wanted to know about his parental rights and I wanted to find out if Geoff and I had any rights at all as grandparents. We were advised to take the matter to court, which we did.

We fought on but Amy blocked us at every junction. She refused to allow us access to Katie, insisting that we had tried to kidnap her. At that time we lived in the same street as Amy and her mother so we often saw our granddaughter, but we were not allowed to go near her. At times I thought my heart would actually break as I missed her so much.

Eventually Rob managed to have access to Katie for two hours a week. Access was allowed at my mother's house - she lived across the road from me. I would peep through the net curtains trying to catch a glimpse of Katie going into my mother's house with Rob, then stay glued to the window hoping to see her coming out again.

Four long years went by and then we heard that Rob and Amy were getting back together. In time Rob started bringing Katie to see us again. However, after a year Rob and Amy decided to split up again and this time the parting was final. Initially Geoff and I were allowed to see Katie for two hours every Sunday. But on some Sundays Katie did not turn up. We were terrified that we would have to go through the heartbreak all over again.

Quite unexpectedly I heard that my brother was very ill and I went to London to see him. He died a couple of days later. Around the same time Geoff got a new job and we had to move about four miles away. We told Amy that we were moving and she said she would still bring Katie to see us on Sundays as usual. The first Sunday after we moved we waited for Katie and left messages on Amy's mobile but they were never returned. That was when we realised it was all happening again.

Living without Katie
Geoff and I have not seen Katie since our move four years ago. We kept her Christmas presents for a couple of years but in the end we gave them to my niece.

The grief of losing my brother and Katie has taken a toll on my health - I had a slight heart attack, which was caused by stress. After the divorce came through Amy married again and moved to another village. She also had a little boy, a brother for Katie.

Katie has a new life now and I often wonder if she thinks of us. We have two step grandchildren and a grandson now who help to ease the pain of losing her, but they can never take Katie's place in our hearts. Her photo is in every room. Our hope is that one day when she is older she will come looking for us.

If this article has raised issues for you, why not join in the conversations on the Families Torn Apart message board?