Selia's pregnancy diary


Selia Bellanca and her husband Doug are overjoyed at the thought of having their first child. Join them through morning sickness, an explosion of Baby Gap in pink, and a roller coaster of emotion


Weeks 1 to 6
It wasn't the dramatic moment that you see in movies or how I had imagined it would be. We both watched as the blue line began to grow darker - I stared in disbelief. Could this be right? I looked at my husband, Doug, and we both cracked a smile. All I could do was start laughing. We were actually going to have a baby.

The baby hunger had been growing over the last few years - and it was with pangs of jealousy that I saw my friends and perfect strangers waddle by with their pregnant tummies. We started trying and within a month or two, we had our result. I never imagined it would happen so fast.

I remember walking down the street with a huge smile on my face. No one knew about our little secret and I found it hard to concentrate at work - especially since I've had to give up my morning coffee!

My first trip to the GP was rather uneventful. No blood test to confirm things, no scans, no probing. Just a few lame words of congratulations and a leaflet about prenatal care. If I decided to have my baby with the NHS, I was limited in my hospital choice and would see a different midwife or doctor at each stage. As this was my first baby, and being an admitted hypochondriac, I decided to opt for private care.

Getting to grips with pregnancy
Since I wouldn't see the Obstetrician for until the eighth week, I decided to start doing my research. I bought the obligatory What to Expect When You're Expecting and Week by Week Pregnancy guide books. I've found that the Internet is the best source for all my questions - iVillage.co.uk and Babycenter.com are my new favourites. I calculated my due date and signed up for the pregnancy email updates.

I started to have the classic body-changing signs. I had this unbelievable feeling of tiredness and fatigue; all I wanted to do was sleep. I was going to the loo constantly during the day and about five times during the night. The other sure sign was that my breasts were aching and tender - and I immediately started to fill out my bra. I loved my curvy new shape!

Weeks 6 to 8
Just like the books say, at exactly six weeks, the morning sickness began. Why do they call it 'morning' sickness when it is all morning, day and night? My mouth had a horrible metallic taste and my sense of smell became bionic; I could can smell my colleague's lunch from across the office. I avoided the canteen at work with its horrible scent of overboiled veggies and deep-fried fish. I was far too nauseous to attempt to eat, but I was keeping liquids down. My nausea seemed to get even worse at night.

I've never been keen on exercise, but I had to do something to try to feel better and stay healthy. All the books say that now is not the time to start any new or intense exercise regimes so I decided on yoga. I forced myself to go to a class, but was so wobbly that it was impossible to stay balanced. After a couple of weeks, the nausea and weakness made me give up.

Ginger with everything
I tried ginger ale, ginger tea, ginger biscuits and then ginger pills. Nothing helped. The books suggest 'sea bands', which you wear on your wrists to apply acupressure. I didn't notice the difference, but at least it didn't get any worse. My husband found a special pregnancy wristband that sends a pulsing wave to the wrist - it was expensive (£60), but at that point, I would have tried anything. Still no relief.

I had my first appointment with the consultant at eight weeks. He told us his specialty is 'high risk' pregnancies and his Caesarean rate is low, so I felt in safe (albeit very expensive) hands. The only exam he gave me was an ultrasound. I focused on a tiny, bean-shaped thing in my uterus. 'There it is, congratulations guys!' he says. He pointed out a flickering dark spot in the middle of the 'bean' as the heart beat. It was fluttering so fast. What a thrill.

He said my morning sickness was actually a good sign - it meant I was producing the hormones that the baby needed to develop.

Telling the family
We left the office elated. It was time to share the good news, because I was bursting to tell someone. Since we kept it a secret, I went onto the iVillage expecting mums message boards for advice. One woman gave me some really good advice - she only told those close enough that she would also want to share the news of a miscarriage if it happened this early. So we decided to tell only our families at this early stage.

My parents live in America so I had to phone. I told them I had good news and bad news. The bad news was that I wouldn't be able to make it to America for Christmas this year. The good news was that their first grandchild was on the way. My mom shrieked on the phone with shock and I could hear my dad's voice breaking up with emotion.

Weeks 8 to 12
We saw the doctor every two weeks during the first trimester. The appointments were quick, but never a disappointment. I loved hopping up on the table for the ultrasound and seeing my baby take shape. On one visit, the doctor pointed to the organs - the heart, brain, stomach, etc. My husband squeezed my hand as we saw the heart beating. It sounds like a cliche but it was a miracle.

I still felt horrible - the morning sickness hadn't subsided. The only things I could eat were toast, cereal and tinned peaches (odd, but there was something about the sweetness). I was starting to feel extremely weak and my face was pale and drawn. I thought I'd never experience the whole pregnancy 'bloom' thing! A few people at work asked if I was okay - I wrote it off as stress. I thought they must have suspected something. I found it hard to make it through the work day.

Physically, my body was just starting to change. My waist seemed thicker and my trousers were getting tight.. My husband was keen to take pictures every week of my profile to catalogue it all - but there was no sign of a bump. I actually lost some weight - which wasn't surprising given the lack of food in my body. I read that morning sickness should pass by 12 weeks - so I lived for that day.

Good news and bad
The next big milestone was my 12-week scan - they took measurements of the baby and specifically looked at the nasal bone and the nuchal fold at the back of the neck. They were looking for possible indicators of Down's Syndrome. Everything looked good and the baby was moving around - performing somersaults and such like.

Then I had a blood test where they measured my hormone levels. All the results and measurements were put into a computer programme, to give my risk factor for abnormalities. The doctor came back with a rather serious look on her face.

Apparently my hormone levels were off the charts and there was a 1 in 12 chance that the baby could have Down's Syndrome. (The normal risk for my age is about 1 in 400.) My husband and I were stunned. The doctor recommended a CVS test (chorionic villus sampling) which can rule out Down's and other chromosomal defects. Unlike an amniocentisis, this test can be performed earlier in the pregnancy and the results come back quickly. This all has to be weighed up with the risk of miscarriage from the intrusive test, which is about one per cent.

I was completely torn - I didn't want to risk miscarriage, but I also didn't want to spend the next six months worrying about the baby's health. Down's Syndrome often leads to serious heart problems and other health issues - would it help to be prepared for this? We decided to go ahead with the test. In my case, the sample was collected by inserting a long, thin needle through my abdomen into the placenta, where cells were taken. The pain was numbed by a jab and it was over in a matter of minutes. But the gravity of it all was too much and I started to faint.

Waiting for the results was the worst part. I was literally sick with worry. But the call came in a few days and it is good news. Everything is fine. And there was a surprise - I could find out the gender of the baby from the test. It's a girl! I was just so thankful she was okay.

Weeks 12 to 16
At 14 weeks, we decided to break the baby news - first to our friends and then at work. My girlfriends were thrilled - most of them are on their second or third baby, so the advice started rolling in.

The theme of this month was chronic morning sickness misery. In the vast majority of cases, it should have ended, so I was starting to worry. The lack of nutrition was catching up with me and I could barely walk five minutes without feeling winded and faint. The doctor ordered a blood test and found that I was anaemic due to the lack of iron - so that explained the fatigue, pale skin, dizziness and headaches! He was reluctant to put me on any medication - either for the nausea or iron-deficiency. He said that the baby was a 'parasite' and would take what she needed from my body. 'But there's nothing left to take!' I told him in frustration.

Food! Finally!
I was so worried about the development of the baby - especially when all my pregnancy books stressed the importance of good nutrition. At 18 weeks, I started to really panic. I decided to get a second opinion and called one of my friends in America who is an obstetrician. She was concerned and recommended some mild medication for the nausea so that I could start eating. Ironically, the next day, the symptoms started to ease and I held off on the pills. I then had my first meal in weeks.

While lying in bed one night, I felt some bubbling in my lower abdomen. Could it be the baby? I screamed for my husband. It was too faint for him to feel from the outside. The next day, I felt it again - it had to be the baby. Maybe she was happy to finally get fed! Over the next few days, the movement got stronger, and I noticed it every couple of hours. This had to be the best part of pregnancy.

Pretty in pink
The following week, Doug came back from a business trip with a 'surprise'. He had literally bought out the entire Baby Gap shop. I'd never seen so much pink in my life! He carefully laid out each outfit - it was so sweet to see how excited he was. It finally hit me that he is going to be a father. So far, this pregnancy had been all about me. Then as I watched him reading his 'expectant father' book, I just couldn't describe the love I felt for him.

At 18 and a half weeks I had a bump. It literally just popped out one day. I couldn't fit into any of my trousers. People at work suddenly started to take notice and comment about it. I looked at my profile in the mirror and I started to well up with emotion. Until then, I'd sort of felt outside of myself looking in on someone else who was pregnant. But it started to sink in - this is really happening to me.

Weeks 18-22
At the start of this month, I am feeling really good. Now that I'm eating well, I start to gain weight at a steady (albeit fast) pace. I'm gaining about three to five pounds a week and my bump is clearly expanding! The skin around my tummy starts itching like crazy - apparently, this is all due to the skin stretching and tightening. It's time to think about stretch mark creams, lotions and potions. I experiment with a few expensive products, but the best seems to be Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion. It's cheap (£4.99), there's no strong smell and it goes on without any oily residue.

It's also time to start shopping for some maternity clothes. I don't want to spend too much on clothes that I'll only be wearing for a few months. On the other hand, I don't want to feel frumpy and sloppy - the idea of 'borrowing' my husband's clothes, as some pregnancy books recommend, does not sound too appealing. I think that jeans, two pairs of black trousers and some summery trousers should get me through work and casual events. Top Shop and Dorothy Perkins have some great basics that won't break the bank. I've picked out a few old jumpers and tops from the back of my wardrobe - I figure that they'll get stretched out, but it will give me a great excuse to invest in some new clothes after the baby is born! I also found that, depending on the style, buying tops a size or two bigger than my normal size worked just fine for me.

I'm nervous and excited about my 20-week scan - this is to measure the growth of the baby and check that the major organs are functioning properly. They will also check things like the placenta and umbilical cord to look at blood flow. It's amazing how much detail can be seen on the ultrasound - the chambers of the heart, the lobes of the brain, etc. But I am mesmerized by the baby moving around constantly - we see her make a fist, and then stick out her tongue! Her face and profile are much more human-like. The doctor says everything looks fine - her growth is progressing and she is now at the fiftieth percentile for most things. Last time she was only at the fifth percentile, so I feel relieved. They estimate she is about 20 centimeters long and weighs about 450 grams.

Weeks 23-27 weeks
This month is all about relaxation. We decide to book what could be our last holiday alone for the next 18 years! The doctor says I can travel up to about 28 weeks. (It's a good idea to get a letter from the doctor so you don't get any hassle from the airlines.) There's a lot of pressure to plan the perfect getaway - it can't be too hot or too long of a flight. Also, we don't want to go somewhere exotic or remote just in case I need any medical attention. We decide on the Greek Islands and Athens - the perfect combination of an exciting city break and island paradise. The flight was pretty uncomfortable - mostly due to back pain. With hindsight, I'd recommend bringing a pillow along for any travel during pregnancy. Once we arrived though, it was all worth it. I found it heaven to just relax and read a book by the pool. I was careful to stay out of the sun and enjoyed swimming a few times a day. It was wonderful to just float in the water! I slept about 12-13 hours a day - I guess I hadn't realized how tired I was. I came back to work feeling refreshed and rested.

The best thing about this month has been feeling the baby more intensely. My entire bump transforms in shape with her movement. It's hilarious! You can see the shape from the outside - it could be her head or her bum or her foot poking out. She seems to respond to voices and music now. When Doug comes home from work, he talks to my bump - it sounds strange but within a few minutes she seems to respond with a kick. What a way to greet daddy!

Physically, I'm feeling very tired toward the end of this month. It's not surprising, because my last blood test results confirmed I am anemic (low in iron.) My legs feel like lead and I'm starting to notice some swelling in my ankles and feet at the end of the day. I vow to take things a little easier at work. Emotionally, my calm is starting to give way to more anxious feelings about the baby. What to we need to buy for her? My other concern is about our flat - will we have enough room for the baby? Will the renovations get finished in time? Who will take over at work when I go on maternity leave? And how much time should I take off from work? Reality is starting to sink in.

Weeks 28-35
One of the things on the agenda this month is childbirth classes. Unfortunately, I didn't make the deadline for signing up for my local NCT classes, so the lesson here is to sign up really early (at about 12 weeks). Instead, I opted for a programme at a hospital that offers evening classes for couples. Since Doug is going to be there for the delivery, I thought he should be learning too and it would be a great way for him to participate in the pregnancy. I'm planning a hospital birth and at this point I intend to use medication to manage the pain. I'm hoping this class will prepare me for all options because you never know what can happen during labour. The classes run weekly for six weeks and cover everything from aches and pains during late pregnancy to each stage of labour and delivery.

The first week is fun, because we meet other couples who are due around the same time as us - most are first-timers so it's reassuring to hear we all have similar questions. I get some good tips on posture and exercises to help alleviate back pain. The second week is all about the signs of labour and what to do (besides run to the hospital!). Overwhelmed by all the new information, later that night I have my first nightmare about childbirth - it's pretty terrifying.

The doctor has ordered another growth scan at 28 weeks. Because my hormone levels were abnormal (when tested at 12 weeks), they are concerned about the placenta, which fuels growth of the baby. It is just a precaution to make sure she continues to grow normally. The baby is just as active as ever - I strain to see if I can make out her facial features. The doctor says she even has hair! Everything looks good - she is still on the small side, but there is nothing to worry about. I'll need a follow-up scan at 32 weeks to monitor the growth once again.