Dreams of sex and looking for sexual meaning in dreams is something of a pastime for dream interpreters. Often, you don't have to look very far. Sexual content, feelings of love, flirtation, attraction and nocturnal rendezvous are often very explicit in dreams.

Sexual meaning has long been a first path of inquiry in dream interpretation. This is due, in part, to the significant contributions of Sigmund Freud to the area of dream interpretation. However, interpreting the sexual content of dreams can be difficult. University studies reveal significant differences in how men and women dream about sex. However, when all is said and done, almost everyone is 'doing it' in dreamland.

How much?
Sex during dreaming is reported as a topic of at least 12 per cent of male dreams and four per cent of female dreams. This discrepancy is generally consistent with our waking sex drives, with men doing much more thinking about the topic than women. (It is said that men think about sex far more than 12 per cent of their waking lives, though.) In his book Finding the Meaning in Dreams, G. William Dumhoff reveals some interesting data about the manifestation of sex in dreams:

Men
Participating 93%
Watching 7%

Women
Participating 68%
Watching 32%

This table indicates that women often separate themselves from what is going on in the dream sexually, whereas men see themselves as participants. This can be significant to understanding why it is more common for men - particularly boys - to have orgasms in the dream state than it is for women. It also reveals the conflict that many women feel about the good-girl/bad-girl taboo.

Aside from overt sexual activities in dreams, the question of sexual images and symbols as they occur in dreams is important. Because sexuality is often cloaked in a heavy shroud of secrecy, either through childhood or throughout life, the subconscious is prone to represent sex in a variety of ways visually. Freud, in his theory of the sexually driven personality, contributed much to this line of thought.

Interpreting sexual dreams
Sexual dreams are not about sex exclusively. Often they are about how we perceive people and how we think others are perceiving us. To construct a framework for interpreting sexual dreams, it is important to identify who is with us in the dream and how we feel about the experiences being had while dreaming.

Certain dreams are simply romantic. Boy and girl meet in the dream state and find themselves enjoying one another. This scenario commonly involves an attractive acquaintance and a generally pleasing environment. There is no violation of taboo, except for a sense that perhaps things are moving a little fast in the nocturnal relationship. Often, the dreamer has simply acted upon a desire for a relationship with a particular person - Freud's theory of wish-fulfillment is a sufficient explanation.

Other dreams begin to press on the boundaries of our taboos. These include dreams with sexual content the dreamer would consider inappropriate in waking, but participates in during the dream. These dreams can be very troubling. One can wake up feeling as though a rape was committed, a fidelity violated, or that innocence has been stripped away. Dreams of this nature may require some more thorough examination.

Identifying the 'who' or 'what' that has generated discomfort is an important first step. Was it a boss, co-worker, friend? Someone much older or younger than you with whom you have an affectionate, but platonic relationship? Or was it the nature of the encounter - coerced, cheating, public, or whatever - that is the most distinct feature of the dream? Who was forcing whom? Was it a stranger who reminded you of someone you know? Representation and displacement relationships are often components of sexual dreaming.

Some of these dreams indicate our own ambivalence about taboos. There is, after all, something exciting about what is forbidden. In other cases, we are expressing our own frustration with a sex life that is not satisfying. Still other times, others have violated our boundaries and we respond by thinking they have taken unmerited favours from us.

In all of these cases, the dreams are worth noting and studying. By looking into what you may find abhorrent at first, you will see aspects of your personality and the relationships around you that are mostly unnoticed. Perhaps most importantly, you will become more aware of the various facets of your personality in those relationships.

See also Nudity, bed, out-of-body experience, pregnancy and rape.

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