Congratulations on your engagement! If you're a bride-to-be looking for a smooth ride up the aisle, enlist the help of the iVillage wedding planner with month by month tips to help ensure you enjoy a fun and stress-free day
The countdown:
12-18 months before
Your wedding date and venue
Civil wedding venues
To narrow down the options, pick an area first and then research the exact location. The General Register Office will be able to provide you with a full list of licensed venues in the district you've chosen.
Choosing a church wedding
You have the right to get married in your local parish church or where you worship. Firstly, you need to arrange to meet the minister to see whether your chosen date is available. He or she will undoubtedly like to speak to you both about your plans. As with a civil ceremony, you will be expected to make your intention to marry public. This is done in the form of banns, which are read out in the church on three consecutive Sundays before you marry.
Getting married abroad
There are companies that can organise a wedding abroad for you. If you're tempted to get married far afield, read about one iVillager's Jamaican marriage for more advice and ideas.
Second time around
Legally you're allowed to get married as many times as you want, provided you can document that your previous marriages ended in bereavement or divorce. After you've done that, any type of civil wedding will be open to you.
The Church of England and Wales used to forbid divorced people to re-marry in church, but now it is up to the descretion of the minister to decide whether he or she is willing to perform the ceremony. If you do want to get married in a church, expect a long and serious talk with the minister. Most of them will be sympathetic, but they may want to be sure of your commitment.
Decide on your budget
You should also consider taking out wedding insurance. This will cover you against a whole host of potential problems - the marquee falling down, bereavement, illness, the wedding photos not coming out, and so on. Although it's best not to dwell on potential disasters, if you're planning a large budget, insurance will give you peace of mind.
Celebrate your engagement
This is also the time to announce your engagement in the papers if you like the traditional touch.
Introduce the parents
Choose attendants and bridesmaids
Other things to do 12-18 months before:
Nine months before
The dress
If you're trying to keep the cost down, one idea is to try on different types of dresses in the shops, and when you've found the right style, commission a dressmaker to reproduce the look. It's often cheaper and in the end you'll have a unique dress designed with you in mind.
Book a florist
Order stationery
Alternatively you could get a creative friend to design and organise the stationery, and get them printed up independently. Make sure your friend is given plenty of time however, and keep them informed to any changes that may need to be made as your plans progress.
Other things to do nine months before:
Your guest list
Ceremony details
Other things to do six months before:
Hair and beauty
Other things to do two to four months before:
At this crucial stage things should be coming together and everything should be organised. It's time to make those final check-up calls and have the final dress fittings.
By now you should be starting to relax and celebrate, with everything in motion.
And finally, enjoy your wedding day!
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For more information on wedding preparation, visit iVillage's ultimate guide to planning your wedding
Nine months before
Six months before
Two to four months before
Two to four weeks before
One week to one day before
The big day!
Once your engagement is announced, decide on a date. These days, venues get snapped up, often a year in advance so it's never too early to make your booking. Think about which day of the week you want to marry on; opting for a weekday wedding is not uncommon, especially for smaller weddings. Once the venue is booked, you can move on to the more fun details.
The advantage of a civil ceremony is that it can be completely tailor-made to suit your taste and personality. You can choose a venue as quirky or unique as you like, from a plush hotel to an old covered market. The only issue is that there is a lot of choice, so you'll need to be more organised than if you were simply getting married in your local church.
In many ways, a church wedding is the easiest option. The picturesque building and religious ceremony gives immediate gravitas to the event. You have the weight of tradition behind you and a church ceremony is what many people envisage when they imagine the perfect wedding scene.
Fancy a wedding in Jamaica? Getting married in an exotic location has a lot going for it. If you pick the right spot, the beautiful landscape will do lots of the work for you in making the day memorable. Miles of deserted beach also makes an impressive backdrop to the photos. You will probably have a smaller, more intimate event, and as most people will have turned your wedding into a holiday, your guests are likely to be more relaxed and will have time to really get to know one another.
If you're getting married for the second time, the best piece of advice is to try something completely different from your first wedding. Four out of every ten weddings are second marriages so you need to ditch any awkwardness or guilt - you're in good company and have every right to make this day special. If either partner has children from a former marriage, ask their opinion and try to get them involved.
Along with the venue, now is the time to do the sums. Decide on the size and style of your wedding and list all the costs. A good budgeting tip is to make a spreadsheet listing how much you expect to pay, later adding the real price against the predicted price; Weddings don't come cheap and watching the pennies as you spend them saves pounds later.
Try to organise an engagement bash - it's a great way of letting all your family and friends know your intentions. If you are planning to have a small, intimate wedding, your engagement party is a great way of including more people in your celebrations.
It is often nerve-racking when the prospective in-laws meet for the first time. If your parents and his have never met, make it easy by arranging a meeting on neutral ground and remember: they will all be as anxious as you to make that good impression!
It's time to involve all your nearest and dearest family and friends. Don't forget that on the day itself, bridesmaids, attendants and ushers can take a lot of the organisational weight off of your shoulders, but you must make sure that they are fully briefed on their responsibilities.
Organising the following in plenty of time will give you the opportunity to shop around and make more informed decisions. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for local wedding fairs - these provide great opportunities for meeting wedding service providers.
If you have managed to hold back until nine months before the wedding, now is the time to shop for your dress. Book appointments with bridal shops and department stores and try on as many styles and cuts as you can to find out what suits you best. Some bridal shops may not order dresses in for you after the six-month mark, so do this well in advance.
Flowers are an important part of the day - they define the colour scheme and theme of your wedding. Make sure you find out in advance which flowers will be in season and enlist the help of a reputable florist - a local one that knows the venue often helps. As well as decorative flowers for the venue or church, think about your bouquet, the bridesmaids? posies, any headdresses, corsages and buttonholes.
Have a browse around for invitations that you like the look of and send off for samples. This isn't as simple as it may first seem because as you open the catalogues to browse at the invitations, you will be hit by a whole menage of matching menu cards, orders of services and place cards.
If you haven't been to your local council to give notice of marriage now is the time to call your local registrar to arrange a meeting. Also:
The tradition is to send out invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding, but to be safe there is no harm in sending them out from now. Alternatively, send an email to all your guests asking them to save the date, and send a more formal invitation later on.
Think about how you want things to run on the day. Think about your vows, the timings and how the venue will look. It's not too early to think about the finer details.
Now's the time to concentrate on your look. If you want somebody else to do your hair and make-up, book trials with the experts. Decide on the image you want - this is the time to experiment and work out any glitches before 'the day', such as the right makeup colour pallet to suit your skin and dress, and how to style your hair with your veil, if you have one. Take photos to see what you look like behind the lens with different colour schemes and hairdos.
Your wedding day
You'll probably be feeling too nervous and excited to eat, but having something for breakfast will help calm you down and set you up for the day.