Discover how a little creativity and fun can rejuvenate your sexual relationship and make a real difference, in just 48 hours!
Many couples find that their sex life loses sparkle as they make more of a commitment to each other. Dealing with a stressful job while juggling work, childcare and your relationship can also dampen the fires of passion over time and this is especially true if either of you has been ill or had a sexual problem that needed medical help.
Home or away?
Talk to your partner about devoting a whole weekend to exploring your sex life. Regardless of whether you plan to stay at home or book into a remote B&B, if you have children, you will need to find babysitters. The focus is on you and your partner, so ask a friend or relative if your children can sleep over with them.
If you decide to go away, look for somewhere quiet where you can come and go as you please. You might consider renting an out-of-the-way cottage or a room in a small beachside hotel. If you decide to stay at home, unplug the TV and turn on the answer-machine to prevent any interruptions or distractions.
Setting the scene
If you plan to go away for the weekend, take some basic items with you to set the scene during love play such as scented candles or a simple oil burner. Consider also taking a silk sheet to drape over the bed, or a soft fleece blanket, to provide a stimulating texture for your skin.
If you have a portable CD player, then take it with you along with a selection of your favourite CDs. Choose your music with care. Look for music that has a good rhythm but is not too disturbing (no heavy metal!), or music that helps you relax. Music that you listened to when you first got together is a great choice as it will remind you of a time when you felt sexy and close to one another.
Props for your sex play
You may be surprised to discover that you already own a multitude of aids to sexual pleasure in your wardrobe or around your home. Look for items such as silk scarves, furry gloves, feathers (especially a feather boa), a chain link or pearl necklace, and any sexy underwear you have tucked away for special occasions. Your partner too may also want to search for silky boxer shorts, and other fabrics that will stimulate your touch sensors.
Buy a good-quality massage oil (available from chemists or health and beauty outlets) and a lubricant for lovemaking (look for silicone-based lubricants), for fun, try KY Warming Liquid! You should also invest in a vibrator; they are so much more than just plastic willies, and your partner can learn some new tricks with them too!
Stimulate all your senses
Start your weekend love-in by taking turns to have a relaxing bath, or bathing or showering together. Use the water from your bath to caress your body, relaxing as you allow yourself to get in touch with your sexual self again. Enjoy the sensations of touch as you think about the pleasure you will share together. If you bathe together, avoid making love immediately. Instead, take time to caress one another, using sweeping strokes over each other's back and thighs.
Wrap yourselves in a clean fluffy towel or dressing gown and eat a simple meal of finger foods that you can dip in sauces and feed to one another. Avoid strongly flavoured foods such as garlic or chilli because they can flavour bodily fluids; foods with a sensuous quality, however, will awaken your body to further delights. Try chocolate and strawberries which are believed to promote feelings of well-being and sexual arousal.
Use your scented candles and favourite perfumes and aftershaves to lend a luxurious feel to the room. Pile up cushions and pillows to create a 'harem' feel alongside your silk sheet or soft fleece. Wear your slinkiest underwear and enjoy leading yourselves up to lovemaking.
Try out your props
Now is the time to experiment with your carefully selected props. For example, try wrapping the silk scarf loosely around your hand and caress your partner while he lies back, before asking him to do the same for you. The silkiness should feel delicious on his skin and on yours. Try wrapping a feather boa around you as you caress him, or gently pull the feathers across his skin. Take it in turns to stimulate each other with these different sensations, learning, as you go, how you each like to be touched and which sensations you prefer.
Hold the necklace between two hands, with most of the chain hanging down in a loop, and trail this upwards from feet to neck along his back and down again. The effect is subtle but deliciously arousing. Try kissing and licking every part of each other, perhaps even challenging your partner to find a part of you he has never kissed before. If you have a vibrator, experiment with using it in different ways on each other. Get him to stroke you on and around your clitoris, while you gently massage the vibe under his testicles or around the head of his penis; producing enjoyable sensations for him, as well for you!
Play some games
Now that you're both feeling more confident about lovemaking, you can start using these techniques throughout the rest of your weekend together. Try making a 'love pact' where you both agree not to try intercourse until you have both had at least 45 minutes of touching, caressing, massaging or intimate arousal. Ban intercourse altogether, instead experiment with stroking or rubbing one another to orgasm.
Play the 'sex bingo' game. First, make independent lists of all the sexual activities you really enjoy. Once you have your lists, cut them up, fold them, put them in a bowl, and give them a good mix. Next, take turns to pick out a choice. You then have to do the activity for a specified amount of time, say ten minutes, or just carry on until you feel you want to stop. Apart from anything else, this is often quite funny, and should introduce a light heartedness to your sex play, which is the cornerstone to fantastic sex!
The object of your weekend is to find some safe time to play together. Remember that you can't get things wrong, you are with your best friend and no-one is judging you - so you can be as wild as you like. Your weekend should reawaken some old feelings as well as introduce new ideas. Just go for it!