What are your New Year's resolutions? What do you hope to have achieved by Christmas 2006? iVillagers reveal their dearest wishes for the year ahead
The New Year is a time when thoughts and hopes for the future come to the fore. So how can you achieve your dreams? Personal development coach and motivational speaker, Brian Mayne says 'Identifying your goals or life's purpose is the first big step towards achieving your aims.' He adds, 'The key lies in self-confidence. You've got to really want your goal and, more importantly, you must believe that you can do it or else you face an uphill struggle.'
Career change
'I currently work in the promotion industry and have had enough of dealing with rude people who always want the impossible! I come home almost in tears at the way people talk to me. I'm exhausted and need a new career. I would love to work from home and would like to know the best way to motivate myself, build my self-confidence and achieve this.'
goddess_sammyj
'Motivation can come from the desire to see yourself succeed in your new chosen field,' reveals Brian. 'It can also come from visualising or writing down what you want to achieve from your career and what tools and characteristics you already possess to help you get there.'
Practical steps such as investigating new career options, talking to a small business advisor or others who work in your ideal career will help build confidence in your new venture.
Overcoming heartbreak
'It's been three months since I was dumped but I just can't get over him. Every day I wonder what he's doing. I still miss him terribly and love him. Most of all, I am in need of his support. I'd love to think that this time next year I'll be happy, but I'm scared I'll still feel this bad.'
purple-millie
A painful split from a partner can wreak havoc on your confidence like nothing else. 'Acknowledging your pain and grieving for a lost relationship is part of the process of recovery,' says Brian. 'However, after a period of time (and it's different for everyone) you will start to feel stronger. Lean on those around you who love you, look at how many people in your life care for your well-being and allow your confidence to re-grow through their love and support.'
Take steps to boost your self-esteem by taking up a new hobby, changing your appearance or simply treating yourself to something you've long desired. Taking care of yourself will go a long way to helping you recover from heartbreak but it's important to recognise that this process will take time and is best undertaken in small steps.
Passing my driving test
'I had a driving lesson today but all my instructor did was moan and pick faults and my confidence is shot to pieces. I don't think I'll pass - after today's lesson I feel like a complete failure. I would love to see myself driving by this time next year but at the moment, I just can't see it happening.'
clairy123
'Visualising success and identifying the tools you already possess to help attain your goal are key to believing you will succeed,' says Brian. In this instance, someone learning a new skill, should look at how well they've done so far, focus on their strengths to build confidence and recognise where weaknesses lie and work on those areas. 'Breaking a problem down into smaller, more manageable pieces makes it seem less daunting and will ultimately help your goal become more achievable.'
Lose weight
'My New Year's resolution is to lose weight - around three stone ideally - and to take better care of my health. I'd also like to be more positive and procrastinate less. These have been my goals for the last few years but hopefully in the next 12 months I can find it in me to achieve them.'
mic1978
'Taking the first step towards your goal is the easy part. Keeping going is the real challenge,' says Brian. To stay motivated, 'get help to achieve your goal. If you want to lose weight, join a club or diet with friends for support. Help yourself in any way you can to maximise your chances of success. Reward yourself when you reach targets along the way and don't beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon occasionally.'
Give up smoking
'I've tried everything to give up smoking but this year I want to succeed! I know that it will have to be a cold turkey job but my will power has vanished. Please help me so that this time next year I am a non-smoker. I have a two-year-old daughter and for the sake of her health and my pocket, I really want to give up.'
amberleaf77
Giving up the ciggies is tough but you need to show faith in yourself. 'Tell yourself that you are stronger than you think and use every tool available to help you give up.' suggests Brian. Support from boards such as Stop Smoking are invaluable, as is that of those around you.
'Believe you can succeed and refuse to think negatively,' Brian advises. 'Take practical steps to help yourself - such as avoiding situations where you'd normally smoke or environments where it would be the norm for you to spark up. Visualise yourself as a non-smoker and hold on to the fact that you're doing this for two very good reasons - your own health and that of your daughter.'
Achieving your aims for the coming year won't always be easy but if you can look back come Christmas 2006 and say you've done what you set out to do, think of the sense of satisfaction you'll feel. iVillagers are here to offer support and advice - there's always someone who's going through a similar situation. The key is to stay strong, ask for help and believe that you can achieve your goal. Good luck!