They looked so dreamy on their profile, they sounded so amusing via email but they turned out to be the most disastrous and downright disgraceful dates ever

Just a quickie
He arranged to meet me in a pub about 10 minutes from my house one Saturday night. He'd had a lot of messing about with his young son earlier in the day and I had suggested postponing the date but he was insistent. We met in the pub. It seemed to be going OK, or so I thought. After we finished our drinks, I asked him if he would like another. He stood up and said to me: 'You know, I'd rather not' and picked up his coat; it was obvious we were leaving.

Apart from being pretty angry at his bad manners, I was angrier that I'd taken the time to get ready, gone out and got home all within an hour AND on a Saturday night.

I've got no idea what I did but when I logged on later that evening, he'd sent me a message saying: 'Good luck, sorry it didn't work out'. Today, I can giggle about it but at the time I was pretty pissed off.
kannec

Whoever invented blinds dates?
I went on a completely blind date. He had sent me a photo of his car, his motorbike, his dog, his friend's motorbike....you get the picture. Or not in his case! He turned up in his MG sports car. Looks nice, I thought. Then he got out. You remember that photo booth Hamlet advert with the mega comb-over? Yes, this was his thinner brother. He was about 45 going on 65! We went to one of those open griddle places and fortunately were seated next to the griddle. The flames shooting out of the kitchen were a welcome distraction. Then we went to the pub. I feigned tiredness to leave and ran into some friends on the way out. I went and sat in my car for five minutes till he had left and then went back in.
Bbetti

Bills, bills, bills
My worst date was with this quite attractive guy, who I got on really well with. We had gone for a meal and were having a great time. Then it came to the end and I forgot that, sometimes, you just let the man pay. We ended up having an argument right in front of the waitress. I ended it with the immortal words 'Well okay, but I'm not sleeping with you'. She literally nearly choked on her chewing gum. You know that instant when you realise you've killed something beautiful stone dead.
Bbetti

I thought you said M&S
I'd had a few dates with this guy. We seemed to get on alright. Finally, I agree to go back to his place. We get there. He shows me his S&M gear... I run for the hills.
Mamu

The Hobbit
I turn up for a date. I see him from a distance and think OH MY GOD! He is a midget! With a HUGE head! *Gulp*. I had seen his picture prior but that only showed his face - there was nothing wrong with his face and YES I am this shallow. We started walking towards a nearby pub. We made it halfway there before we started arguing - we then argued all evening. He proceeded to argue how America won the world war for the British, how Europe was never unable to do anything without come crying to the US for help. Grr! ROAR! No, I haven't seen him again.
Zzelma

Constant complaining
A best date, theoretically, would be the third date I had with a bloke - he took me to Budapest for four days. This should have been a lovely romantic weekend. Unfortunately he was overly pompous, though it was quite entertaining disagreeing with him. But he was also a big complainer.

It started at the airport - he complained about the early flight time and went to go to sleep in the waiting area, snoring loudly. When we arrived he moaned about how long we had to wait for the bus, this was followed by complaints about where we were dropped off. Then every meal was moaned about. I mean *every* meal - including cake and coffee. He sulked when I told him off for complaining and he went to bed early (no drinking or anything) because he was so tired. I blame the beer goggles for getting me into that. Though I have to say it's the most adventurous date I've had.
cl_book-junkie

Fond memories of yesteryear
I did go on a date with a 'magician' (self-taught), who sat in the pub showing me all his magic tricks much to the delight and thunderous applause of his 'audience' (the other people in the pub). I just wish he had a trick to make me disappear.

I can also remember a few years ago going on a double-date with my sister. Her date (remember, this is the first time they have gone out) brought along computer joke sheets for her to read. What's that all about?
Bella05

The Matrix call
I always go for the 'funny sort' (as in funny, not weird, although they often mutate from the former to the latter). So, a friend of a friend put me in touch with this guy who describing his humour as 'a bit like Chandler from Friends'. I must admit he was funny on email, in a sort of well-thought-out sort of way. Anyway, it wasn't till I met him that I realised that he had a strange habit. He turned out to be a bit of a clever-dick, who thought he was HILARIOUS, but made a point of trying not to laugh at his own jokes. Instead he had this weird sort of sniff/twitch that happened at the boob-boom of each of his (progressively less funny) jokes. It left him looking smug and weird and VERY unattractive. He also did not stop talking about himself!

Eventually, I had to make a 'matrix call' to a friend ('Gaby, am in the loo, I need an exit in 10 mins') and ten minutes later I was sat opposite him on my mobile saying: 'Cat stuck up tree? Oh no! Can't get it down? No probs, I'll be right over'... and did I run!
spuzza