Successful parents' evenings

How to make the most of the 1 to 1 with your childs teacherb>

Parents' evenings are usually held at the end of the first term, so both parents and teachers can see how children have settled, and towards the end of the academic year after reports have been handed out.

Different schools have different policies on whether children can attend too. Check in advance and decide with your child. He might enjoy showing off his classrooms and work to you, especially in secondary school, but might find it embarrassing to be talked about during the actual meeting and you might find it inhibiting.

To avoid long queues, most schools have an appointments system to see teachers, whether in their own classrooms or in a large hall. You'll rarely have longer than ten minutes. If you have specific concerns, make another appointment, rather than keep other parents waiting.

Make the effort
Firstly, do make an effort to go, even if late afternoon-early evening appointment times seem designed to penalise working parents. By attending parents' evening, you're sending out a positive message to your child and the school that you're a supportive, interested parent, and of course you'll hear first-hand how he's getting on.

In the early years of primary school, you might see your child's class teacher every day, but once your child is in Key Stage 2 years and secondary school, parents' evenings are an important time for parents and teachers to 'put a face to a name'.

Be prepared
Talk to your child before the parents' evening. Is there anything that he'd like you to ask or any work he'd like you to see, or, if at secondary school, a particular teacher he'd like you to meet? Is there anything bothering him, a particular teacher, subject or children?

The teacher will probably have prepared what she wants to say, if only by way of introduction, and will probably cover your child's progress and attitude to school. But you're not expected to simply do a nodding dog act, thank her and leave. Most teachers will ask if there's anything in particular you'd like to know.

What to ask?
It might be worth jotting down a few key pointers before you attend. These are the sort of questions you might like to ask:

  • Is my child happy at school?
  • Does he get on well with his classmates?
  • What are his strengths and weaknesses?
  • Does he work to the best of his ability?
  • Is he progressing at a reasonable rate?
  • What will he be working on next?
  • What are the expectations of his year group?
  • What should I be doing to help my child at home?

At the end of Key Stages, you will also see his progress in relation to his peers and the national average, which can give you a clear idea of how he's progressing and his abilities.

In Years 5 and 6, when you are making decisions for your child's secondary school, parents' evenings are the ideal time to discuss the best options for your child. Be realistic and listen to the teacher's views on your child's abilities.

Often it's a lot to take in - especially if you have more than one teacher to see - so it's a good idea to take down a few notes as reminders for later.

Usually parents will be given the opportunity to look at children's work before meeting the teacher. Your child's work should have improved over time. If there appears to be little progress or work is rarely finished, try to find out why when you speak to the teacher. Make sure you single out things to praise him for afterwards.

What you can provide
You might also want to tell the teacher about any changes at home, things your child enjoys or finds difficult and any worries he might have. If your child is mad about or excels at a sport or hobby outside school, now is the time to make the teacher aware of this. Children can be surprisingly reticent at blowing their own trumpets and it's helpful for the teacher to know what they're like out of school, to see the whole picture.

Most of the time parents' evenings will simply underline what you already know - if your child groans about maths, chances are he's not going to get a glowing report from his teacher and if loves art, there will probably be some impressive work to admire.

Concerns
Occasionally a teacher's impression of your child won't match your own experience. It's important for both of you to try and understand what's happening. For example, if a primary school child isn't eager to join in class discussions, is it because he's shy, switched off because he's bored or worried about saying 'the wrong thing' and what can be done to encourage him?

If you are concerned about playground politics or bullying, now is the time to flag up any worries. Often teachers are only aware of what happens inside their classrooms, but mentioning your anxieties will mean they'll keep a close look-out and instruct other staff to do the same.

Feedback
Afterwards, make sure you give your child a thorough run-down of your discussion with the teacher: her praise and her criticisms, if any, and what the school and you are expecting from him now. If there is room for improvement, this might be the time to set up new home routines to encourage him to do his best.