25 tips to help a new mum

Nothing can prepare you for the intense high of your first baby. It's the biggest change and challenge a woman will face. These tips will help you make the most of the first few months of motherhood

Be self-indulgent 'Spend the first week being as self-indulgent as possible - this is the one time in your life when you should let everything else wait - this time with your baby is so precious and will be something you both remember for the rest of your lives,' advises Maggie Howell, trained Doula specialising in natal hypnotherapy - www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk
Beating the tiredness You will probably miss a night's sleep in labour and then your newborn gives you little chance to catch up. The interrupted sleep can be gruelling. Sleep when your baby sleeps. Domestic work can wait. Napping in the day will make the night feeds easier too.
Breastfeeding 'The key to successful breastfeeding nearly always rests on good attachment of the baby on the breast. Sit back in a chair with your knees slightly higher than your thighs. Hold your baby firmly around the back of his neck and shoulders with the opposite arm to the feeding breast. Make sure his head and body are in line and his neck isn't twisted. His bottom should be under you elbow in a 'cross cradle' hold. His head should be able to flex back - so no head holding and there is usually no need to hold the breast either, - it's not going anywhere! His chin should always be at the breast before the mouth leaving a slight gap for his nose. For qualified breastfeeding help contact ABM 0870 701 4411, www.abm.me.uk, www.ilca.org www.earlynurture.co.uk.' Pam Lacey IBCLC
Burping You'll be amazed by the loud and rather rude noises your baby makes. If your baby seems unsettled when feeding, take her off the breast or bottle and gently squeeze or rub her back to help her burp. Once winded you can offer her the other breast or bottle again or put her down for a nap.
Spontaneous sex is out of the window with a newborn to look after. Plus the trauma of birth, tiredness and breastfeeding might leave you feeling nervous and not in the mood. Wait until you feel ready for sex again. Don't worry, you will regain your desires.
Avoid baby wipes and bathe your baby in plain water for the first month advises midwife and baby skin expert Sharon Trotter. 'At birth, the top layer of your baby's skin is very thin and absorbent. This means it is more sensitive to damage from germs, chemicals and water loss. Gradually introduce baby products after a month. By this time the skin's natural barrier will have developed. These products should be free from sulphates (SLS and SLES), colours and strong perfumes.' For more advice go to www.tipslimited.com
Do kegels 'Start practising your pelvic floor exercises as soon as possible after the birth. The sooner you get started the sooner you will be in better shape in more ways than one,' says Doula Maggie Howell.
The speed a baby grows and changes in the first year is phenomenal, so it's no wonder a newborn baby will sleep for 15 to 18 hours a day. Getting a baby to settle and sleep well at night is every mother's goal. There's so much advice out there, it's enough to send you to sleep (if, only!). Just remember that the broken nights won't last forever as the majority of babies are sleeping through the nights by six months.
Motherhood is a messy business Baby sick seems to spurt everywhere and if you're breastfeeding you might suffer from a few leaks. Pack away your cashmere jumpers and stock up with bibs, baby muslins and breast pads to mop up all the spillages!

10. A new born takes time to adjust to the strange new world they've arrived into. They were quite happy in your warm womb! Soothe and settle your baby by gently rocking her in your arms. You'll soon find yourself talking in silly voices, cooing and reciting lullabies and nursery rhymes to entertain your little one.
11. Everyone's keen to help a new mum, so don't feel shy to ask for support. Getting out of the house can feel like an ordeal at first, so don't wrestle with your new buggy alone. Ask a friendly neighbour to help you out of the house and then meet you an hour or two later to help you back in again.

Don't be alarmed by the colour of your baby's first nappies

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13. When weaning it's important to introduce your baby to a wide range of tastes, says baby food expert Annabel Karmel. 'Jarred baby food has a shelf-life of two years and minimal flavour and nutrients - even the expensive organic brands. To create a shelf-stable product, commercial baby food is heated to extremely high temperatures and then cooled, eliminating many nutrients and flavour. Many brands also add thickeners and stabilizers.' Baby food is quick and easy to cook. Check out www.annabelkarmel.com for recipes and tips.
14. Look after yourself, advises nutritionist and author Amanda Grant: 'You need to eat regular meals to help keep your energy levels high - especially important if you are up in the night feeding! Make something for supper in the morning when you are not too tired to help guarantee that you eat something later in the day'. Healthy Eating for Pregnancy and Healthy Baby & Toddler Food for Mitchell Beazley.
15. Baby bulge 'Don't expect to return to your pre-pregnancy shape immediately,' advises Baukjen and Vanessa from designer maternity wear brand Isabella Oliver, 'Wear clothes that flatter the assets you're proud of and don't emphasize the areas you'd rather not draw attention to such as the abdominal area. Don't make the mistake of wearing very baggy clothes as this can make you look bigger.'
16. Colic If your baby is drawing up her legs, looking red-faced and crying a high pitched agonising squeal at the same time every day, it sounds like colic. It tends to start at three weeks and no one really understands what it is, whether it's hunger or due to a baby's delicate digestive system. Baby massage can help with colic. Look for local classes in your area.
17. 'Expect breastfeeding to take two weeks to become established,' advises Anita O'Neill, midwife at the Zita West Clinic. 'Expect lots of ups and downs during that time. Breastfed babies feed more frequently than bottle-fed babies. Bottle milk takes longer to digest so it is entirely normal for a breastfed baby to feed every two to four hours during the first few weeks.'
18. Visitors While you want to show everyone your little cherub, visitors can leave you feeling exhausted. The early days of motherhood are an emotional roller coaster. Don't overload yourself with visitors. There's plenty of time for friends, family and neighbours to meet your baby. Ask them to bring whatever they'd like to eat or drink to cut back on any extra stress or domestic work.
19. Pack your nappy bag and keep it by the door Never leave the house without a full change of clothing - baby vest, sleep suit, cardy - and a couple of nappies, wipes and or cotton wool. Babies have a remarkable ability to fire poo up the back of nappies!
20. Don't try to be the best Fear of failing is often linked to post-natal depression (PND). This condition is different from the weepiness or baby blues many mums experience in the first few days. Post-natal depression can be a serious and debilitating illness if left undiagnosed and untreated so it's important to get help. Association of Post-natal Illness. www.apni.org

21. Information overload You'll be bombarded with advice by your mum, friends, health visitor, magazines and books - everyone has something to say about how you raise your baby. Remember that what suits one baby may not suit another so trust your own instincts when it comes to your baby.
22. Routine 'Try not to get too worked up about getting a routine going for the first two to four weeks,' advises Anita O'Neill, midwife at Zita West Clinic. 'It's unrealistic to expect a tiny new baby who has been used to having food on tap 24/7 (in the uterus) to then quickly adapt to a three-hourly routinely.'
23. Let skin breathe Health visitor Maggie Fisher says, 'natural soft fibres allow the skin to breathe and prevent harsh fibres irritating your baby's skin'. She suggests regularly checking babies by feeling their chest, tummy or base of the neck. 'I advise parents to check their baby whenever they themselves feel hot or cold. If the baby feels hot, take a layer off and if the baby feels cool add a layer and check again later.' Look after your baby's skin by washing her clothes with a hypoallergenic fabric conditioner such as Comfort Pure.
24. Meet a mum 'Having a baby can be extremely isolating,' say Baukjen and Vanessa from Isabella Oliver. 'We've both found it to be quite tough at times. We liked it best when we combined being at home with seeing other new mums and exchanging experiences. There are loads of women who will probably feel exactly the same and would love to get out of the house.' Try our Meet a Mum in your area message boards.
25. Budget Having your first baby is an expensive time. Budget by borrowing as much of the pricey baby gear as you can. The newborn equipment such as slings, baby bouncer chairs, Moses basket, baby bath will be packed away within six months, so borrow stuff from friends and visit second-hand sales such as the NCT Nearly New sales.