Meet the women who have decided to dodge baby sick and nappies by remaining child-free

Forty years ago it was expected that if you were married and you could have children, you would. Today, thousands of women are making the decision not to have children, choosing instead to pursue their careers, maintain their own lifestyles and live life just as they please.

In an interview with the BBC, Dr Catherine Hakim of the London School of Economics acknowledges attitudes are changing.

She says: 'The whole idea of the child-free lifestyle is beginning to be recognised by the media. Private feelings are being legitimised and people are beginning to feel that they are not being deviant in some way.'

A report by the Office for National Statistics revealed that a quarter of women in their thirties would still not have had children at the age of 45, although it did not state what percentage of these would be involuntarily childless. Nicki Defago's book, Childfree and Loving It! estimates that one in five women in the UK will decide not to become mothers, while a website dedicated to the child-free, www.kiddingaside.net, puts the figure of western couples who choose not to have kids as high as 16-18 per cent.

Making the choice

'In terms of having kids, it didn't bother me at all that at 31 I was on my own, because I realised that I'd never had any intention of becoming a mother. At the same time, a lot of my peers were having their first baby. Watching what they were going through only confirmed that my decision was the right one for me.'

iVillager cl-sallydownunder has a long-term partner of 14 years and neither of them want children. She says: 'I always assumed I would have kids but spent most of my twenties trying not to get pregnant and avoiding the issue. I spent a great deal of my early teens and twenties around kids as I was a nursery nurse, so I had an idea of what bringing up a child would entail and how full-on it really is. I always stated that being a nanny was the best form of birth control!'

A joint decision?

Stiab3 says: 'Quite early on I'll try to find out (in casual conversation) how he feels about having children. If asked, my initial response is that I'm undecided (a miracle could yet occur), but I wouldn't get serious with a bloke unless I made it clear that I was child-free by choice.'

If you're not sure what you want until you're already in a relationship, it can be a rough ride.

iVillager bookaddict says: 'When I met my husband I unfortunately fell so in love with him that I tried to convince myself that everyone who'd said I'd change my mind was right. I don't think I ever told him specifically that I did want kids, but I never said I definitely didn't either. I thought that by the time we were married for a couple years I'd be ready. But the more time that passed, the more I knew I really didn't want kids.

'I have made it very clear to my husband that I will not have kids even if it means he divorces me. So far, he's decided he wants to stay together anyway, but I'm still afraid that he could change his mind and hate me for making him give up kids for the sake of staying together.'

It's a hard subject to tackle with lovers, but how do parents react to a daughter's decision not to procreate?

iVillager slkbird says: 'My family have said it is my choice and all they want is for me to be happy. My mum realises that being a full-time mother would not fulfill me, and that I have no patience with kids. Friends occasionally say "oh you'll change your mind", but thankfully they don't push it.'

Either way you look at it, it's a big decision to have children or to choose not to, but both are equally important. It's fantastic some women can't wait to have babies, but it's also great that women feel they can stand up and say 'it's not for me'. It's all about women having the freedom of choice.

Click here to buy Childfree and Loving It! by Nicki Defago