Becoming a dad for the first time is a daunting prospect. Gavin Conway, father of four-month-old Kieran, offers ten tips on how to cope with the whirlwind experience of early fatherhood

Before I give you my pearls of wisdom I want to make it clear that I am, by no means, an 'expert' on fatherhood. As any new dad will know and any prospective dad will soon realise, being a father is like no other experience you will ever have. What you are about to read is based solely on my individual adventure and merely represents my advice on how to approach the most challenging, but undoubtedly most rewarding, chapter of your life.

1. Be a domestic God
Having experienced the enormity of welcoming your new addition into the world, it is natural to want to take baby home as soon as possible, especially if, as was the case with my partner Louise, you have spent three frustrating days in hospital waiting for the little bloke to make an appearance. For me, this meant sitting with Lou for hours on end, trying (usually in vain) to make her feel comfortable, only leaving the hospital when sent on missions to buy whatever food, drink or reading matter she desired.

It also meant being chucked out at 8pm every night (I'm only the father after all) to return to an empty flat. An opportunity to veg out in front of the football with a couple of beers you might think (phone switched on at all times). Let's face it, in a couple of days, such luxuries would be a distant memory.

Now, I'm as much of a 'new man' as the, err, next man (I even moisturise) but I shamefully admit that when it comes to housework I still 'have to be told'. But when mother and baby come home, the burden of cleaning the bathroom, staying on top of the washing up and vacuuming the living room will fall squarely on your shoulders. So put down the can of Stella and get on with it!

If you are expecting some kind of reward/recognition/badge for undertaking this task, forget it. Having the place clean and tidy for when they come home is not done for the sake of brownie points, more to avoid the wrath of a tired, emotional, disorientated mother. And if you are lucky enough to get paternity leave, start facing up to the fact that domestic tasks will fill a large portion of your day - at least in the short-term.

2. Be positive
During the early days, mothers often doubt themselves. If baby is not taking to breastfeeding smoothly or is taking an eternity to settle, it is unsurprising if mum, who is probably physically and emotionally drained, feels she is somehow at fault. It is important that you seek to banish these thoughts immediately and reassure her that she is giving her all and is doing her best for baby. While it is imperative mum remains in as good a physical shape as possible for baby's sake, it's also important that her spirits are as high as they can be.

Breastfeeding is a particularly emotive area, and one which caused a certain amount of anguish for Lou. Having been adamant she wanted to breastfeed, and having enjoyed moderate success early on, it became clear she wasn't providing Kieran with the volume of milk he needed. When I woke one morning at 4am to Kieran screaming his head off and a bleary-eyed Lou sobbing uncontrollably, we reluctantly decided bottle feeding was the way to go.

Lou was very down about it at first and admitted to feeling guilty for 'letting Kieran down'. To me this was preposterous. I don't think I've ever witnessed someone try harder at anything and I made her aware of this in no uncertain terms. While I suspect it was scant consolation, it was important for her to hear someone praising her monumental efforts.

There are likely to be a number of occasions when you will be required to 'rally the troops'. Remember, if you're feeling tired, multiply it by ten and you're coming close to how mum feels.

3. Get your hands dirty
Changing nappies is generally seen as a necessary evil by dads. But, while I will not claim to enjoy the experience (no matter how much you love your baby, being peed on is no fun), in the early days, nappy changing represents one of the few times where you have baby's undivided attention.

Personally, I am keen to play as active a role as I possibly can in every aspect of Kieran's upbringing. That means mucking in with nappy changing, feeding and bathing. Apart from the fact it takes some of the pressure off mum, it provides important 'bonding moments' between father and son.

4. Develop your own 'baby-settling' methods
As a bloke, you are clearly devoid of certain tools, namely breasts full of milk, to help settle baby. But you do also have some useful weapons in your armoury that your wife or partner may not possess.

Pick baby up, put him over one shoulder and start dancing around the room. As baby gets bigger, this is a tactic only you will be able to employ as your shoulders are likely to be broad enough to accommodate him. While this may not necessarily send baby to sleep, he will be calmed by the constant movement. Don't be afraid to put some nursery rhymes on the stereo and sing along in baby's ear - again the repetition of sound and movement often sends baby into a trance.

If that doesn't work, put him in the buggy and push him backwards and forwards round the living room. If baby stays quiet, you're doing your job.

Other methods I used included lying Kieran on his changing mat - which in itself seemed to calm him - and sliding him up and down by his feet. If you have a baby boy you will find such 'rough and tumble' becomes an increasingly handy tool.

As baby gets a bit older you can take them out for a walk, either in the buggy or sling. A trip round the block in the car may also work. The fresh air and different surroundings tend to calm them instantly. And of course, while you're away, mum is recharging her batteries.

5. Give her a cuddle
While sex is very much off the agenda in the early days after giving birth, especially for those who have had a caesarean (no physical exertion for six weeks), mum will still be in need of some physical 'closeness'. She has, after all, been through a traumatic time, been poked and prodded in the most undignified way, and will no doubt be craving a reassuring bedtime cuddle.

Once things settle down, baby starts getting into a routine, mum's energy levels return and she feels more like a woman and less like a biology project, things will return to something nearing normality. But be aware baby is now, rightly, the priority for both of you.

6. Make use of family and friends
We are in a fortunate position in that my parents only live five minutes away. Not only that, but, unsurprisingly, they are desperate to play as active a role as they can in Kieran's life.

And while Lou is also keen for both sets of grandparents to be heavily involved she will never go looking for help.

On a couple of occasions when Kieran was a matter of weeks old, I gave my mum a call on my way to work and suggested she give Lou a ring 'just on the off chance' she fancied a cup of tea or a couple of hours in bed while baby and grandma got better acquainted. It's a 'win win' situation: Lou gets to go back to bed and grandma gets to spend precious time with the baby she hasn't been able to stop talking about since news first broke of his expected arrival.

7. Learn to keep baby occupied
As baby gets older and is able to recognise you, you are able to play a more active role and can keep him occupied for longer while mum has a break. Playing with him on his play mat or on your lap also gives you the opportunity to bond more closely. And the first time he smiles and laughs at you, will make all the sleepless nights worthwhile.

For me, this time comes immediately when I get home from work. He's likely to have loads of toys and, if he's lucky, apparatus such as a baby swing, musical chair or musical mobiles. Have fun trying them all to see what he likes.

But don't underestimate how useful silly faces and noises can be. Blowing a simple raspberry can have him in stitches. If this doesn't work, try modifying your silly noise or try putting on a silly voice. While you are not guaranteed laughter, baby will at least be mesmerised by such juvenile behaviour. And it's fun!

8. Muck in with 'night duties'
Night time routines vary, but in our house I am excused from getting up during the week as I am working.

At the weekend, it's my turn to take on 'night duties' and Lou is able to catch up on sleep. The prospect of getting home on Friday evening after a hard week at work, knowing that you aren't going to have an unbroken night's sleep can be tough to accept, but looking after a baby has to be a team effort. And you've got Saturday morning to have a couple of extra hours in bed (a luxury mum doesn't get during the week) if you have a particularly bad night.

So my advice would be adopt a relaxed attitude, accept that you will be woken up at some point and go about the nappy changing and feeding in a similarly relaxed way. If you're worried about waking up, you won't be able to sleep in the first place and if baby picks up on any tension, he will take longer to go back down.

9. Talk to other new (and old) dads
Just as mums benefit enormously from meeting and sharing tips and advice with other new mums at baby groups and coffee mornings - not to mention on message boards - dads can help each other out by talking about their experiences.

One of my best friends became a father six months before I did and there are two more new dads in my office. And of course, my dad is an instant source of useful information.

Apart from practical baby tips, it's definitely beneficial to discuss what it's like to be a father. While an entire industry has developed around 'mother and baby', there is relatively little readily-available support material for new dads.

Especially in the early days of baby's life, your 'hands-on' involvement as a dad is limited and it can be difficult to define what your role actually is. This tends to fall into place naturally over time but the need to share views and any doubts or fears you may have remains.

10. Enjoy it!
I spent Saturday evening reassuring my best friend, who is due to be a dad in six months' time that it is the best experience he will ever go through. Yes, it's sometimes exhausting and yes, there will be some tough times to negotiate but, ultimately, caring for your new baby is the most rewarding task you will ever undertake.

Until you become a father it is impossible to relate to how it enriches your life and most of my non-father mates still struggle to understand my willingness to kiss goodbye to regular Saturday nights at the pub.

But, believe it or not, I actually count my reduced consumption of alcohol and fewer weekends spending money I haven't got as a positive. And having a baby doesn't mean the end of your social life, it just means when you do get a baby-sitter, you tend to make the most of it.

I am currently looking forward to taking Kieran swimming for the first time and can't wait to see him walk, then run, ride his first bike and kick a ball round the park.

My advice if you're thinking of becoming a father? Do it!