Did you know that the clitoris is the only organ in the human body built solely for pleasure, and that in some women it is up to 14 centimetres long? Find out more about yours with this updated user's guide
Back in the early nineties, Margi Clarke went out on the street for The Good Sex Guide and asked men to identify the clitoris on a diagram. Almost all of them failed, spawning a generation of jokes about men's ineptitude when faced with the female anatomy (What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them).
But, in reality, the clitoris is a complex beast, and new research on its shape and size may come as a surprise, even to women.
For centuries the clitoris was described as a nerve-rich nub about the size of a pea. And indeed, it is dense in nerves, with over 80,000 of them. But it wasn't until 1998, when Dr Helen O'Connell challenged the 'pea-sized' theory with her study of the clitoris, reported in New Scientist.
O'Connell discovered it was wishbone shaped, with erectile tissue surrounding the urethra on three sides. Rather than being the size and shape of a pea, O'Connell reported that the clitoris actually has two legs (or crura) which extend between five and nine centimetres into the pelvis, as well as two bulbs (called 'the bulbs of the vestibule') which lie to either side of the vaginal opening within the labia minora (inner labia).
She followed up this research in 2005, using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) rather than dissection to study the clitoris, and reported similar findings.
So what does this mean for you? Well, to start with, you can have a lot more fun if you explore your clitoris in all its glory. And once you've discovered how to turn yourself on in new ways, you can let your partner in on the secret too.
Users guide:
- Press down on your pubic mound with one hand, while stroking the clit with your other hand. Use lube and go gently as you?re exposing the tip of your clit, which is the most sensitive part.
- Use one finger on the stem of the clit (the bit just above the tip) and slide a finger of the other hand inside yourself to stroke the G-spot (thought to be the internal base of the clitoris).
- Lube up your finger and stroke your inner labia while caressing your breasts with the other hand.
- Squeeze your outer labia together with two fingers of one hand, and stroke the stem of the clitoris with your other hand.
- Lie on your back, put a pillow between your crossed legs and press down on it, rocking your pubic bone against it to stimulate your clit and labia at the same time (this is particularly good for women who find direct clitoral stimulation a bit much).
- Get your man to lick from the stem of your clit to your inner labia and back up again in soft sweeping strokes.
- Ask him to slip a finger inside you and press on your G-spot as he gently licks the tip of your clit.
- Shave your pubes and get your man to suck the whole of your clitoris and labia softly into his mouth, lapping in between your labia as he does.
- Get onto all fours and slide a finger or toy inside yourself from behind to tease your G-spot as he licks your clit from underneath.
- Squeeze your Kegel (or pelvic floor) muscles as your man slips his fingers into you and laps your clit from above.
Okay, there's no guarantee that you're going to come together, it's a pretty rare occurrence. But a few techniques will help increase your chances of coming with your partner.
- Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
Lie in missionary position, then get your partner to shuffle upwards so that his pelvis is above yours and the base of his penis rubs against your clitoris during penetration. Now, the pair of you should simply rock back and forth rather than thrusting, with him lying flat on top of you.If he's particularly heavy, he should support some of his weight on his arms, without raising his pelvis. As orgasm approaches, keep rocking together rather than 'chasing' the orgasm. CAT has been shown to increase chances of orgasm for a woman by up to 70 per cent.
- Bump and grind
As a simpler version of the above, during missionary-style sex, circle your hips and grind your pelvis against your partner's, rather than relying on his thrusting alone. This will move your clitoral hood up and down, as well as giving direct pressure to the clit to intensify sensation. - Love yourself
Rub your clit as your partner penetrates you. - Toy with me
Use a small bullet vibrator on your clit during doggy style sex for easy extra thrills. Visit the iVillage sex shop to buy one. - Extended Sexual Orgasm (ESO)
Anecdotally reported as helping make orgasm last up to 30 minutes, ESO takes a bit of work. Over a series of weeks first tone up your Kegel muscles by exercising them every day and get your man to do the same thing. Next, masturbate alone using your hands rather than a toy, trying to extend the amount of time before you climax each time (use lube to make things more comfortable).Then masturbate in front of your partner and get them to do the same for you so that you know exactly how he likes to be touched and vice versa. Pay particular attention to the way each other's body responds during arousal, so you can watch for these signals when you're touching each other.
Meditate three to four times per day, clearing your mind of any distraction by focusing on your breathing and counting backwards from 20 to zero. Spend time caressing your partner, focusing on how touching them feels to you. What does their skin feel like under your fingertips; how does your energy flow from you to them? Ask them to tell you what feels good, and modify your technique to be as pleasurable as possible. Do this for a month or longer so you can hone your knowledge of each other's bodies.
Only now are you ready to attempt the ESO. Lie back and relax while your partner smothers your genitals with lube and lightly teases you with his hands. As you get more aroused, he can use one or two fingers inside you while stimulating your clit with the other hand. Once your muscles start to contract, indicating you're about to come, he should switch to teasing only your vagina, and pressing your G-spot.
When your muscles push out, he can move back to lightly stroking your clit. By alternating what he's doing, he can keep you at the plateau stage for a long time, until the point at which you're lost in sensation. Only at this point should your partner directly stimulate your clit, keeping fingers inside you at the same time. The longer he teases, the more intense the orgasm. Then it's your turn. Return the favour with long and lingering caresses and (if he's amenable) prostate stimulation. You'll both go to sleep with smiles on your faces.