There are many special moments in pregnancy and early motherhood that come along unexpectedly, but many more that you can plan into your day and really relish

It's so true what they say: babyhood is fleeting and should be savoured while it lasts. If motherhood isn't quite coming up to your rose-tinted expectations it's especially important to build special times into your daily routine when you can really bond with your baby. These are the memories that will outlast your sleepless nights by a long way.

Close cuddles

One of a newborn's greatest needs is for his mum's touch, and this has been proven scientifically. 'Kangaroo cuddling', for example, which involves skin-to-skin contact between mother and baby, has been shown to improve the welfare and long-term wellbeing of premature babies. Experiments with chimps have found that food-deprived, isolated babies typically seek out physical comfort over sustenance.

Because your baby needs to be physically close to you, you will spend a great deal of your early weeks and months cuddling and comforting him. This provides the perfect opportunity for you to interact together and it will strengthen the bond between you.

Focus on feeding

When you feed your baby, whether by breast or bottle, he is at the optimum distance from your face to focus with his immature eyesight. Notice how he may fix you with a stare as he enjoys his milk, and how comforting he seems to find it just to hold your gaze.

Although there will be occasions when you'll want to use the time to watch your favourite TV programme or have an uninterrupted phone conversation, set aside some feed times just to enjoy your baby. Sing to him, chat to him in a sing-song voice (babies love this) or just gaze back at him, and take the time to notice any subtle changes in him over the days and weeks. You'll be amazed at how just a few days can make a real difference to his reactions.

Making faces

When your baby is alert between feeds, spend some time communicating with him. Make your mouth into an 'O' shape and see if your baby copies you. Even very young babies are often great mimics.

Hold a conversation with him. Say a few words, and then leave a long enough pause for him to respond. He may change his facial expression, wave his arms and legs or move his mouth. When he stops, start talking again, then wait. You may notice a pattern emerging, and in this way, you and your baby can communicate with each other.

Baby playtimes

Engaging your older baby in playful one-to-one activity provides a great opportunity for bonding. You can make games up as you go along, adjusting the aim to suit your baby's current age and stage of development.

If he's able to focus on a moving object and reach out a little arm, for instance, you could try dangling one of his favourite pram toys around 30cm (12in) from his face to see if he'll make a swipe at it. Once he's sitting supported, you could place one of his toys just out of easy reach and see if she will lean forward to get it.

When he's able to sit unsupported and has better hand-eye coordination, try rolling a large ball slowly towards him and see if he can stop or catch it. All of these activities will give you a chance to find out what new skills he's developing, as well as what his favourite games are and what makes him giggle.

Little achievements can make very big imprints on parents' brains, and you might be surprised in a few years' time to discover that you can still remember that fateful day when your baby first played 'Peek-A-Boo' back at you!

Out and about

The world outside can provide wonderful stimulation for your baby, and you may rediscover things through him that you had previously taken for granted. Shapes, colours, sounds, changing seasons and weather conditions will all be a source of wonder to your baby. So try to see the world through his eyes whenever you have the opportunity to get out and about together.

In good weather, half an hour or so in the garden or park playing on a rug and exploring the different textures around you will be amongst the most rewarding times you'll spend together. These times are particularly valuable whenever you're feeling a bit down or overwhelmed by the responsibility and sheer hard work of parenthood. Get down to your baby's level and see things from his perspective. Smell and touch the grass or point out harmless insects.

Bath and bed times

Bath time, especially as part of the pre-bed routine, should be a time when your baby relaxes and begins to wind down. It won't always be like this, of course. There will be days when you give your baby a quick splash as he screams his head off. But the more tranquil bath times can be pure joy for both of you.

Get into the bath with your baby and enjoy the skin contact and the soothing sensation of the warm water at the same time. If you were lucky enough to have a gentle water birth, bathing together should bring the euphoria flooding back, and you'll relive that bonding process again.

The end of your baby's day will be his last feed before bed, so make sure you have a comfy chair and cushion available, preferably in your dimly-lit, cosy bedroom, and indulge in the pleasure of a sleepy cuddle before you settle him for the night. It's another good opportunity to sing or talk in soothing tones and, providing your baby is relaxed and ready for sleep, can help you to unwind for the evening ahead, too.