The intensity of the long Christmas break, an empty wallet and numerous family visits can put pressure on any happy relationship. Psychologist and sex expert Dr Pam Spurr looks at six ways to make your love life festive and saucy this year

By the time you have used your energy on work parties, school events, preparing food, buying and wrapping gifts, there is very little time left for the pair of you.

It only takes a little bit of thought and creativity to protect your relationship from seasonal stress and to enhance your romantic and sexual enjoyment. Unfortunately, many couples assume their relationship can survive anything. But seasonal neglect and pent-up frustrations means that more couples break up in January than any other time of year.

1. Dangerous liaisons for your diary
At the end of November, or early December, liaise over your diaries and mark in some special dates together. I recommend two, or ideally three, blocks of time that you treat as proper dates with each other. These can be evening dates or any time on a Saturday or Sunday morning or afternoon. Once you've agreed them, protect that time together.

On each of these 'dates' you're both barred from discussing the stresses and strains of the Christmas season. Instead, pretend that it's like your first few dates where you were finding out about each other. Give each other permission to flag up if you start droning on about Christmas problems.

Also, mark the '12 Days of Sex-mas' in your calendar! This is for the small things that end up giving you a big result in the romance department. On each of the days leading up to Christmas, write down one little flirtatious or seductive thing you're going to do. Brainstorm now! For example, arrange to meet your lover for some grown-up Christmas shopping where you both choose some sexy underwear and adult toys. Or you might send them a particularly loving or sexy email one day or surprise them with a dinner-in-bed one night.

2. Create your own 'Christmas corner'
People let their living spaces get crowded with all sorts of odds and ends, knick-knacks and paperwork. Not only does this crowd their living areas, it crowds out their life and relationship. Clear out one area of your sitting room or bedroom to create a sexy little 'Christmas corner' for the two of you to snuggle up in every evening.

Have your CD player nearby (and television off), play some soft music, and cuddle and chat, even if it's only for 10 minutes. This sort of bonding time can make the world of difference to your stress levels.

To spice things up in this corner, keep a 'Santa's box of sexy secrets'. This will contain all the little things you two need to get sexy with each other. For example, your favourite lubricant or massage oil, sex toys, a pot of honey, or even a blindfold or handcuffs! These things will come in handy if snuggling in your Christmas corner puts you in the mood for more.

3. Mix up some magic
Now's the time to get smart with all the things you might have to prepare for Christmas. Do some Christmas cooking and making some lovely mince pies. Then take some time to hand-feed each other some pies warm from the oven. Slowly swirl some whipped cream around the tops of them and then have your partner lick the cream clean from the spoon. Such suggestive food-play is fun and sexy!

Getting stuck into present wrapping? Keep back some soft, silky ribbon to tease your partner with. You can be flirty and have a bit of a giggle by asking them if you can tie their wrists together gently.

Have them lie back and you can dangle the rest of the ribbon down their chest lightly, sensually stroking them. Be creative when doing your preparations. It is a fantastic way of keeping connected to each other during this busy season.

4. Give a gift that will keep on giving
Think back about all the sexy or flirty things that your lover has told you over the past year. Has he ever confided in a particular fantasy? Maybe he said when joking around or even when you've been making love that he's always fantasised about you being a sexy nurse. This is the perfect time to translate his little desires into a fun gift to give him in the run-up to Christmas.

For a sexy nurse surprise, go to any online or High Street adult shop and buy a nurse's outfit. Add to this a set of silky stockings and some very high heels. Get a big box to gift-wrap it up and include in it some 'important medical instruments' so that you can 'examine' him, like a vibrator or other sex toy!

Enclose a sexy note within the gift box. Write a message saying that you hope this is the gift he will always treasure and that when he's a good 'patient' you'll slip into it over the coming months.

5. Set the scene for seduction
Unfortunately, many couples forget how to seduce each other over the months and years of their relationship. They're even less likely to think about seducing each other at busy times of the year like Christmas.

But it only takes a little bit of initiative to have a seductive night of pleasure. Think about the things you need for a seductive and romantic evening. Make sure that you're both involved in the preparations and divide up the list of things want to get; like some lovely rude foods to feed each other, some sensual-smelling bath gel, or a bottle of fizz.

Put a couple of fluffy towels on the radiator or in the warm airing cupboard and surround your bath or shower with candles. Offer to take turns washing each other's backs with sensual massaging movements or even wash his hair. Show him how gently you can run your fingers through his hair with the shower gently trickling through it. Ask him to do the same to you.

Next, as you get out of the shower or bath, towel each other dry with the fluffy warm towels and roll into bed for a lovely snuggle. If you're feeling inspired and the two of you have reconnected, this is the perfect moment to try a new technique or position.

6. Give an unforgettable Christmas card
Often, the most memorable gifts are the ones that don't cost a thing. If you're on a tight budget here's a wonderful idea that can be as sexy or romantic as you want. Buy or make a Christmas card for your partner.

Be creative and inside it right down five different 'treats'. Write out instructions inside the card telling him to choose two of them for you to do to him. These five treats could include a romantic, candle-lit massage on the romantic end of the scale, right through to giving him a 'lap dance' at the sexy end.