Colette Dowling shares her tips for keeping the present buying under control

For the past few years, I've had a recurring nightmare. It's the day before Christmas and I haven't bought anything for my family and friends. Since it's the 11th hour, I'm throwing caution to the wind, buying overpriced, impersonal gifts as my panic rises.

The moral of this dream is that gift-giving angst is not about generosity; it's about projecting an image. Because I've waited until the last minute (because I'm not in control of my money) my Christmas will put me in the poorhouse once again.

And as I'm wrapping those presents I won't even feel good about them. How could I, knowing what their consequences will be and how little real thought they reflect?

So what could be some alternatives to the great Christmas shopping binge?

Imagine that you will only spend what you have. No credit card purchases. And no putting yourself last, so that come January you have to forgo the root canal because your gift buying put you in hock. It may mean you can spend very little. Is this terrible? No. And by using these tips, you can make the holidays meaningful without breaking the bank.

Make it personal
Why not purchase something small but relevant for each person on your list, and write out a note by hand telling them how you feel about them? You can include in your note your new decision about Christmas, and what it means to you.

Agree on spending amounts as a family
Another possibility for avoiding self-destruction is 'The Limit'. With The Limit, everyone agrees ahead of time not to spend more than such-and-such for each person's gift.
Sound stringent? Not really in the true spirit of Christmas? Not so. One of the best Christmases my family ever had was when we decided on a £20 limit per person. My son and his wife initiated the idea (they'd had a lot of expenses that year) and it turned out the rest of us were only too thrilled to comply. The presents were more fun that year. And gone was the great Christmas morning anxiety: will my gifts be good enough? Will they fit? Will she think I'm slighting her?

Think small
Finally, there's 'The Stocking.' Using this technique, you only buy what fits into the Christmas stocking. This can be the main Christmas present or the launch of festivities that makes smaller presents later feel quite satisfying.
Good gifts for the stocking include soaps, scents, candles, a favourite chocolate, funny little toys, gloves, whatever fits. Somebody in our family even got a turbocharged nose hair clipper!The idea is to be witty, have fun and enjoy small luxuries. I'd rather have one Godiva chocolate than ten thousand chocolate buttons.

Sure, it takes guts to deconstruct Christmas and make it work for you, but the payoff is fabulous. You are with loved ones. It is warm and the candles are glowing. When you have a Christmas created with thoughtfulness and affection, as well as within budgetary constraints, January looks a whole lot brighter.