Signing up for online dating can feel like buying a ticket to a foreign country with its different traditions, different etiquette and different language. The way to fit in is to do as the locals do. But what if you can't understand a word they're saying?
The emails and instant messaging you receive when you are dating online are full of jargon and acronyms. So if you're a 'newbie' online dater, it pays to know what they mean.
WLTM GSOH? LOL!
Cliched acronyms were a necessary evil when personal ads belonged solely in the newspaper. Advertisers paid per word, so 'GSOH' was four times cheaper than 'good sense of humour'.
But online dating ads can be hundreds of words long, so you hardly ever see traditional acronyms in online personals. Gone are the days of SWF (single white female) who WLTM (would like to meet) a SWM with a GSOH.
However, acronyms and abbreviations still have their place. Email, instant messaging and especially text messages are rich with a whole new generation of dating shorthand.
Today's acronyms are less about saving space, more about saving time. Rather than standing for descriptions like 'good sense of humour', they stand for common phrases that we can't be bothered to write in full. For example, 'by the way' becomes 'btw'.
Some people use this shorthand a lot in emails and messages. Sites like DatingDirect.com are based on email and instant messaging tools, so you'll need to know what your potential date means by 'LOL'. It may not mean what you think it does.
Top dating acronyms, abbreviations and jargon
AFAIK: As far as I know
BRB: Be right back (useful when you're chatting on instant messenger and you need the loo, kettle, new bottle of wine or whatever)
BTW: By the way
B4: Before
B4N: Bye for now
F2F: Face-to-face (as in, 'would you like to meet f2f?')
FAQ: Frequently asked questions
FWB: Friends with benefits
FWIW: For what it's worth
FYI: For your information
IMHO: In my humble opinion
IRL: In real life
LDR: Long distance relationship
LOL: Laugh out loud (or, very occasionally, 'lots of love'. The context should give it away)
LTR: Long-term relationship
Newbie: Internet jargon for newcomer
OMG: Oh my God
POV: Point of view
ROTFL: Rolling on the floor laughing
SYS: See you soon
2NITE: Tonight
TTFN: 'Ta ta' for now
W8: Wait
Smile, you're on instant messenger!
'Smileys' and other emoticons can be useful for giving you a 'tone of voice' in instant messaging and email. After all, you can't hear each other's real tone or see your facial expressions, and these are important in communication.
Here are some emoticons you might see in dating emails and messages:
:-) or :) smile
:-( or :( unhappy
;) or ;-) wink
:D or :-D laugh
:P or :-P cheeky; poking out tongue
:S or :-S confused
<3 heart
You can also add emotion to your messages by indicating actions in pointy brackets or asterisks. For example:
The etiquette of online-speak
Internet dating has its own communication etiquette. Here are a few dos and don'ts:
DO go easy with the caps lock. Typing a word in upper case means you're shouting, and is considered rude in instant messaging or on discussion boards.
DON'T use 'smileys' in your online dating ad. An advert doesn't need a facial expression. You don't see this crime committed often, but culprits are usually men. One male online dater wrote: 'I guess I just want a lady who'll make me smile!!!! :-D :-))'. Friendly or annoying? I'll go for the latter.
DON'T use too many 'smileys' in email or messaging. They can add expression, but they can also look childish. Imagine chatting face-to-face with someone who can't stop grinning and laughing. Eventually you want to punch them.
DO pay attention to your spelling, grammar and punctuation in emails. Okay, so it's not a job application, but it's still good manners to care about what you write.
DO be wary of using more than one exclamation mark. If in doubt, go without.
DO use acronyms to keep your correspondent informed during an online chat. If you're a slow typist and you're taking a while to reply, a quick 'W8' ('wait') in the text box reassures him that you haven't disappeared.
DON'T over-use acronyms, though. Know how to recognise them, but don't batter your correspondent with them. A torrent of text-speak makes you look lazy and even geeky.
DO respect the style of the man you're emailing or chatting to. He'll warm to you if he thinks you speak a similar language. So if he uses 'smileys' and abbreviations, try using a couple yourself. You might even enjoy it :)
Are you looking for love? Meet other single people near you for fun, love or romance.