Flirting can be a fine balancing act, too cool and he doesn't get it, too keen and he runs a mile. Tracey Cox shares her flirting tips to help you get the balance right

It's the question that hovers nervously at the back of every single girl's mind when she meets a guy who seems a. attractive, b. single and c. sane: 'Am I acting too interested?' In fact, many of us play it so cool that we underplay our interest to the extent that we give the complete opposite impression. Warning: 'Distant' can backfire just as much, if not more, than 'desperate'.

A good flirt isn't desperate, aggressive or in the slightest bit offensive. Even if it turns out the guy you're flirting with is attached or uninterested, a good flirt will still leave him feeling complimented, rather than offended. The trick is to use techniques you feel comfortable with, and to adjust the volume depending on his reaction. It's easier than it sounds, so slide into that sexy little black number and try these simple 'I'm available' signals next time you're out with the girls.

Wear high-heeled shoes

Women worry about the size of their bums, but bums that stick out are consistently judged as sexier than little bums that don't. High heels, on average, make your bottom protrude by 25 per cent more (emphasis on the word 'protrude,' as opposed to 'makes your bum look bigger'). If you really want to make him sit up and pay attention, team the heels with a pair of tight-ish jeans and put your hand in the back pocket.

Dangle a shoe

Shoes say a lot about your sexual mood. Sometimes you'll slip your foot in and out of a shoe (no prizes for guessing what you're secretly thinking when you're doing that one). Or you'll dangle it on the tip of our toes (keeping him dangling at the same time).

Cross your legs

The more you cross and uncross your legs in front of a guy, the more interested you are. I believe they teach this to men in pre-school.

Make him sweat

Want to really see him sweat? Cross your legs while holding eye contact and turn toward him. Next, let your high-heeled shoe drop until it's dangling from your toe. Then begin to slowly and seductively move your foot up and down in a thrusting (get the picture?) motion. Note, this only works with high, sexy heels. The effect is dampened somewhat if you attempt it with trainers or sensible flatties. (Sorry, but I didn't promise comfort along with flirtability!)

Teach with touch

Once he's talking to you, stroke your collarbone absentmindedly with the ring finger of the opposite hand. Maintain eye contact with him as you're doing it, and let your hand rest there when you've finished. (If stroking doesn't feel natural, just leave your hand there. Splay your fingers and lift your hand so just the tips of your fingers touch.)

Turn up the heat

Now throw your head back slightly. (It will look the most natural if you wait until the next time you laugh.) Move your hand to the base of your throat. Now ever so slowly, let your fingers slide down your throat toward your breasts. Stop just where your cleavage starts and let your fingers rest there. Keep them there as long as he talks but when you talk, remove your hand. Can you think of a better incentive for him to keep talking to you?

Think dirty:

Conjure up a naughty scenario where the two of you are having sex. Keep it running through your head, then glance at him while slowly stroking your bottom lip with your index finger. If you can pull it off, lower your head slightly as you're looking at him. Why? It lets him know that you're thinking something very naughty and makes him wonder what on Earth is going through your head. To really seal the deal, say something like, 'Sorry, what were you saying? I got a bit lost there.'

It's particularly effective if he was saying something he thought you'd be mega-interested in (like the fact that he owns a private jet). NOTE: It's crucial with this one that you maintain eye contact, or it sends the opposite signal that you drifted off because you were bored.

Take it down a notch

Does this all sound a bit contrived and girly for you? Then do any one of them in a more subtle way, working on his subconscious. The trick is to experiment with volume control and adapt them to suit you. (Practice in front of the mirror to get an idea of what the techniques look like.) Can't bring yourself to stroke your bottom lip? Look at his mouth while he's talking instead.

Also watch his reaction: If he's clearly enjoying himself, feel free to up the ante and be more overt with the techniques. If he's shy or you're not sure, keep them simple and play them down a little.