The relationship audit

You may find that some areas score really highly, others lowly. Concentrate on talking through how you feel about the 'low' areas - even if only one of you rates them down. Then make an action plan to sort out the problems.

Exploration four: How's our sex life?
Read the list below and beside each sentence write down your own personal answers. Then swap notes. Where are you in agreement? Where do you differ?

You may find a lot of inspiration for what to do in bed or that you have to face some mismatches in sexual style. You may also find, just occasionally, that some upsetting stuff comes up about past sexual experiences.

Exploration five: What does the future hold?
Draw a line from left to right of a piece of paper. The start of the line is the present. The end of the line is the end of your life. Mark dots along the line to signal: 6 months from now; 1 year from now; 5 years from now; 10 years from now; 25 years from now.

Now write a few words at each point to say where you think you'd like to be - in work, with your friends and with your relationship.

You may find some mismatch in your life goals. If so, talk about how you can both achieve what you want in your lives with each other.