Leaving my mother

Some would argue that breaking away from a parent is psychologically damaging. But it's far more damaging to stay put. Nowadays, nobody is expected to be in a relationship with a partner that is harmful, uncaring or generally unfulfilling. So why tolerate that from a family member? Parental love should be the one love that is unconditional.

I have had to accept that my mother is never going to change and face up to the loss. In a way, it's grieving before she's died. If you keep going back to the abuser, hoping they've changed to become the person you've always wanted - and some people go on doing this until the person dies - then you'd end up very upset and disappointed. In other words, there's no end to it.

My decision to not ever see my mother again has brought the relief that, I no longer have to pretend that she loves me and I love her, but also a sadness that it has to be this way. But for the sake of my sanity there really couldn't have been a different ending.

Do you have a difficult relationship with your mother? Join in the discussions about bullying and abuse on the Exploring Abuse message board.