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Beware of the charmer
Janine Squires, 32, met Jamie in her local chemist in west London. 'He started chatting me up and I couldn't resist,' Janine recalls. 'He was gorgeous and he swept me off my feet. He did wonders for my self-esteem. He treated me like a queen; sent me flowers and phoned every day. We were married within months. I was so happy. We returned from the honeymoon and he spent the next five years completely destroying me physically and mentally, until there was nothing left.'
Three years after escaping with their child, and in the safety of her own flat, Janine still finds it hard to talk about her abusive marriage without trembling. 'I left when he began threatening our daughter. It was Christmas and I just drove off with her. I stayed at a woman's refuge for a year and am now renting my own place and doing a child care course.'
Janine continually asks herself why she stayed with him so long and why it was so hard to leave. 'When a woman comes out of a violent relationship she will have lost most of her friends and her family,' she says. 'I didn't leave for a long time because I was afraid of Jamie and didn't know about refuges for battered women. I kept telling myself he would change, and kept making excuses for his behaviour. He would always cry after he attacked me and I would feel sorry for him. Most of the time I thought I deserved it , I was a bad wife. Afterwards, it takes a long time to build up your confidence again. But you do it bit by bit,' she says. 'As each day goes by, you overcome all your hurdles one by one and get more control over your life. It's amazing to see how people are willing to help and support you. You regain faith in life and one day you wake up and say, I do deserve a good life and no one is going to stop me. It took me two years to get to this point.'
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