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My colleague rang 999 while I ran through the house literally shoving all the women and children, including Sarah, into one room and told them to barricade the door. I told them it was Sarah’s husband. I will never forget the look on her face. She went grey. She looked as though she had completely given up. Now I realise that look was her staring death in the face. Her husband would not go away and was bashing on the front door, trying to kick it in. It took 20 minutes for the police to respond, but it felt like an eternity. Of course he acted like a perfect gentleman when they did arrive and they couldn’t arrest him, as legally, he’d done nothing wrong. He said he would go of his own accord if he could just talk to his wife. Despite trying to persuade her not to talk to him, she went. She felt concerned for the safety of the other women. It was terrible. Everyone was screaming at her not to go and tried to drag her away from the door. But she was like a zombie. Women pleaded with me to stop her but I couldn’t as it was her choice.

The police stayed with her while she spoke to him and it was then he admitted to hiring a private detective to find her. While they talked we madly rang around and found her a space at another refuge. For her own safety she had to move on. It was very sad, as she had made close friends in the refuge. Sarah has now left the country, seeing this as her only means of escape. My colleague and I received counselling after this incident as it really shook us to the core. We felt so responsible for all the women in the refuge. It made us realise how much danger we put ourselves in everyday – and that is hard to take on board.

Thursday

One of the residents, Hayley, feels depressed. She knows if she goes back to her violent husband her children will be taken into care as they will be at risk of violence. But she still loves him. She knows he won’t change but she wants to believe that he will. He told her the night before on her mobile phone that he loves her and will get help. She changed her mobile number the next day as he was tempting her to give him one more chance. She wants him to be like the man she fell in love with and married.

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Diary of a refuge