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The phone calls have left her feeling very vulnerable and confused and she needs reassurance that leaving him was the right thing to do and that one day, the pain will go away. Hayley still bears the scars of a bad beating and has severe facial bruising and stitches in her mouth, but the pain she’s referring to is not physical.

Friday

Last night Hayley decided to return to her partner. The other women told us she’d left. We have a duty to report this to Social Services as this man is violent and they have two children. There is a good chance that the children could get caught in the crossfire. Reporting this is not a very pleasant part of the job, but it needs to be done. We have to act in the best interests of the children as well as the woman.

We clean her room and make it ready for the next person. We always put some toiletries out to make it welcoming for new arrivals. Often other women in the refuge take responsibility for getting rooms ready. It empowers them as they are helping someone to feel welcome, just as someone once did for them. One of the most important aspects of being in a refuge is to restore the independence and confidence a woman has lost from being in a violent relationship.

The afternoon is spent planning the children’s Christmas party in the refuge. The refuge can accommodate up to seven women and we have between 15 and 20 children at any one time. We always include all the residents’ mothers and invite ex-residents going back one year. We’ll have an entertainer, disco, face painter and henna tattoo artist. Everyone contributes to the party and it brings so much pleasure to the refuge at a potentially difficult time of year.

If you would like to know more about what you can do to help or if you would like to make a donation, you can visit the Women's Aid website or telephone their National Office on: 0117 944 4411.

* Some names have been changed in this article to protect the identities of the women involved.

What can we do about domestic violence?

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Diary of a refuge