Why you don't have to have sex to cheat

Any man who secretly discusses his marriage in any sort of depth or detail over a period of time with another woman, is just as much in breach of their marriage vows as they would be if they had become physical with another woman. `Emotional infidelity' is just as much the real thing as any other sort. There are no grey areas.
billybirdman

Affairs can be physical, emotional or both. Many people feel that it is the emotional bonds that their partner shared with someone else that are the most hurtful, so it does not matter that things had not progressed beyond text messages and meeting for coffee. They have both betrayed you by not being open and honest about what they were doing.
cl-tootcee

Before it goes too far, talk to him, seek therapy; try to find out why he's turning to your friend. Make him talk to you no matter how much it hurts, and if you don't believe what he says, you're probably right, so keep talking until the truth comes out. If he won't talk or go into therapy, then it's probably best that you start the process of moving on.
cinti4133

There are phases to having an affair and he is in phase one; the `flirt and coffee' phase. He probably recognises alarms going off, but it isn't an affair yet. Phase two is actually exchanging body fluids. It is when the crime has been committed and, from there, personally, I think it should go to the lawyers. Coffee and white lies are wrong, however, so you have every right to confront them about it and to force them to end it. To move on though, you need to search together for the root cause. Why does he go outside the marriage for that interaction? What is missing? I believe you can forgive him since it has not gone to the next level yet. But you have to work to find out why it came so dangerously close.
steveng1234

Are you worried that your partner might be cheating? Or have you experienced infidelity and would like to share your story? Have a chat with fellow iVillagers on the Coping With Infidelity message board. Take a look at some of the LIVE discussions taking place on the board right now: