I love him - why do I think about another man?

You're asking yourself all the right questions!

Most of what you're thinking is correct - you've been in a very long relationship since a very young age. People get fed up with routine, get bored, start daydreaming about other possibilities and often act on it a lot quicker than you've even got near to doing. So good for you for recognising that the pull you've felt is simply physical. And not that the other man can rescue you and give you a better life.

It's like an itch you can't scratch. Because if you scratch it, who knows what's going to happen. I think it's time you and your partner should liven up your relationship a little bit and get out of your routine.

Long-term relationships are so rare and are very precious nowadays so well done to you for keeping it going. But that doesn't mean that you can be complacent and you obviously know that. What you and your partner need to decide is what sort of things you both like to do together that would breathe new life into your relationship.

Maybe you two should take up a hobby or sport together or something like amateur dramatics. Maybe you should plan to travel somewhere together and learn about another country. Maybe you both can take a language together. Or save up to go away for a very dirty weekend and play out some fantasies. Whatever it is you decide to do to shake things up a bit, you both need to commit to waking up your relationship to get through this.

Stay away from that other man who is a temptation for you. Give your relationship what it deserves - your best shot. You've got to be strong and you've got to be creative if you are to successfully re-invigorate an 11-year relationship.

I wish you the best of luck,
Dr Pam x