Mind the gap

Solution:
Allow each other some freedom to do things separately. Build trust so that you can go out with different friends and have different hobbies. Make your relationship the centre of your lives, but not the whole - so you can still mix with your own age group, and then come home to each other without feeling frustrated.

Danger 4: You mature out of each other
Everyone grows and alters as years pass, but the biggest shifts happen in the teens and twenties. So if one partner is very young, he or she may well change beyond recognition, quite simply growing out of the relationship and leaving the older partner wondering where their original sweetheart went.

Solution:
It's important for all couples to keep updating each other on how they feel and think. But for age-gap couples this process is absolutely vital. So talk regularly about your thoughts and feelings, particularly at times when you feel you might be changing as a result of life events.

Danger 5: Illness and death affects one of you first
The sad truth is that if there is a big age difference, then one of you will hit old age well before the other. The younger partner may have to rise to the challenge of being a carer and then a widow or widower - maybe while your children are still young.

Solution:
Build in practical safeguards from the very start, with life insurance and financial arrangements designed to protect the younger partner. Also make sure you keep close to family and friends, so that when support is needed you have a network of people to turn to.

Find out more
If you are in an age-gap relationship and need more support for your problems, contact Relate on www.relate.org.uk or Marriage Care (helpline 0845 757 3921).