Advertisement
Topics
Splitting Up
Communication & arguing
Gay & lesbian
Infidelity
Intimacy & commitment
Living Together
Relationship Problems
Communication & arguing
Gay & lesbian
Infidelity
Intimacy & commitment
Living Together
Relationship Problems
Hot stuff
Newsletters
Promotions
Party central
From party frocks to invites and Christmas cocktails, we've got everything you need to throw a fabulous party
From party frocks to invites and Christmas cocktails, we've got everything you need to throw a fabulous party
From flirting to infidelity: how to resist temptation
continued from page 2
Five ways to take a stand against temptation
If you're seriously tempted by another man but still love your partner, it's time to take a stand and put a stop to your destructive behaviour. Here's how:
1. Refocus the fun
You may be flirting for England because you're bored with life and want some excitement. If that's the case, having fun in a non-sexual way will make you much less vulnerable to sexual temptation.
So give yourself a life makeover. If you're underachieving at work, then get some more training and go for a promotion. If it's your social scene that's suffering, find more friends. And if the flirting is boosting your self-esteem, then find other ways to feel good about yourself. In short, get a life and you won't need to have an affair.
2. Switch direction
If the temptation's mild, it may be enough simply to turn your mind to other things. Block the memories of that meaningful glance across the dance floor, or the intimate conversation over coffee. Simply don't go there mentally and you'll be less tempted to go there literally.
Or, switch the direction of the interaction between you and your 'temptation opportunity'. Rather than taking up on the double entendres in his e-mails, ignore them. Rather than batting your eyelashes, turn the attention back to the work project you're supposed to be discussing. Consistently refuse to play the flirting game and he'll get the message and stop.
3. Force an ending
If temptation's strong, then a simple change of direction won't do it. You'll need to bring things to a definite close with a strong, firm statement - face to face, by email, by phone.
If things are in their early stages, you may have to avoid the words 'it's over' - because you've never actually acknowledged that there is an 'it'. Simply say you can't write, phone, text or meet any more - he'll get the message.
Then follow through with little or no contact. And expect to feel bad, tearful and angry as if you were going through a break-up. Because this is the end - of a possible relationship, if not an actual one.
Five ways to take a stand against temptation
If you're seriously tempted by another man but still love your partner, it's time to take a stand and put a stop to your destructive behaviour. Here's how:
1. Refocus the fun
You may be flirting for England because you're bored with life and want some excitement. If that's the case, having fun in a non-sexual way will make you much less vulnerable to sexual temptation.
So give yourself a life makeover. If you're underachieving at work, then get some more training and go for a promotion. If it's your social scene that's suffering, find more friends. And if the flirting is boosting your self-esteem, then find other ways to feel good about yourself. In short, get a life and you won't need to have an affair.
2. Switch direction
If the temptation's mild, it may be enough simply to turn your mind to other things. Block the memories of that meaningful glance across the dance floor, or the intimate conversation over coffee. Simply don't go there mentally and you'll be less tempted to go there literally.
Or, switch the direction of the interaction between you and your 'temptation opportunity'. Rather than taking up on the double entendres in his e-mails, ignore them. Rather than batting your eyelashes, turn the attention back to the work project you're supposed to be discussing. Consistently refuse to play the flirting game and he'll get the message and stop.
3. Force an ending
If temptation's strong, then a simple change of direction won't do it. You'll need to bring things to a definite close with a strong, firm statement - face to face, by email, by phone.
If things are in their early stages, you may have to avoid the words 'it's over' - because you've never actually acknowledged that there is an 'it'. Simply say you can't write, phone, text or meet any more - he'll get the message.
Then follow through with little or no contact. And expect to feel bad, tearful and angry as if you were going through a break-up. Because this is the end - of a possible relationship, if not an actual one.
previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | next
printer friendly
send to a friend
RATE IT
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUponYou need the newest version of Macromedia Flash Player to view this feature. Download the Flash plug-in at http://www.macromedia.com.
Pregnancy & Baby |
Parenting |
Health |
Diet & Fitness |
Beauty & Fashion|
Relationships |
Home & Garden |
Food & Drink |
Work & Career |
Entertainment 
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
© iVillage Limited 2000-2008. All rights reserved. | © iVillage inc. 1995-2008. All rights reserved.
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
