Communication & arguing
Gay & lesbian
Infidelity
Intimacy & commitment
Living Together
Relationship Problems
Affairs - the betrayal
You may have felt suspicious for a while, or the news may have come out of the blue. But now it's out in the open. Your man has cheated on you.
There are three stages that follow this awful news - the reaction, the decision, and the recuperation. In part two of this series, we look at the decision - whether you stay, go or make him leave. In part three we look at the recuperation - how to bring your relationship back on track, after an affair. But, firstly, we will concentrate on your immediate reaction and how to cope.
Shock
'It was like being in a road accident,' one friend said to me, when she found out that her partner was having a fling at the office. And yes, the sheer impact of hearing the news can be physically traumatic.
You will feel emotional - shout, rant, cry. You may well have physical symptoms, like dizziness, weakness or panic attacks. You may even become mysteriously ill or feel depressed.
Physical support is vital. It might be hard, as you may find it embarrassing to admit what has happened. But if there is anyone you can trust to support you, get them to come and help you out.
Denial
You may then find yourself unable to accept what's happened - particularly, if the news of the affair has come to you through a third party.
You may even ignore the issue, convince yourself that it didn't happen, or refuse to challenge your partner. Tessa, 35, simply refused to talk about her husband's confession of his ten year affair. 'Looking back now, I think I thought that, if I ignored it, it would go away'.
1 | 2 | 3 | next
printer friendly
send to a friend
Delicious
Digg
reddit
Facebook
StumbleUpon
Horoscopes| Message Boards | Quizzes | Newsletters | Join
iVillage Ltd is a UK company registered in England & Wales (3837269) at 80-110 New Oxford Street, London WC1 1HB
