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My boyfriend cheated after we first met
Dear Susan,
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for five months. However, this week he told me that in the first few weeks he slept with someone else! This girl recently phoned him after finding out she has a sexually transmitted infection. I am angry because if this situation hadn't come up I don't think he would have told me. He really means a lot to me but I can't trust him. He wants to continue this relationship but I'm not sure if I should.
Nkoyo
Dear Nkoyo,
Yes, it must have come as a shock to you to learn that your boyfriend slept with someone else. But in many relationships, the first few days or weeks can be confusing. Sometimes the future is not clear. You're not sure whether the relationship is even going to get off the ground. There may be ex-partners to deal with.
For these reasons I wouldn't judge your boyfriend on what he did in the first few weeks of your relationship the way you would judge him now that you are together. Tell him clearly that you can't put up with infidelity. Work on regaining trust - it won't just come back of its own accord; you will have to regain it slowly as time goes by and your boyfriend proves reliable. But I would at least give the relationships another try and not give up because of one nasty mistake.
Yes, it must have come as a shock to you to learn that your boyfriend slept with someone else. But in many relationships, the first few days or weeks can be confusing. Sometimes the future is not clear. You're not sure whether the relationship is even going to get off the ground. There may be ex-partners to deal with.
For these reasons I wouldn't judge your boyfriend on what he did in the first few weeks of your relationship the way you would judge him now that you are together. Tell him clearly that you can't put up with infidelity. Work on regaining trust - it won't just come back of its own accord; you will have to regain it slowly as time goes by and your boyfriend proves reliable. But I would at least give the relationships another try and not give up because of one nasty mistake.
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