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My husband had sex with my sister

by Susan Quilliam

question
Dear Susan,
My husband had sex with my elder sister. I am Muslim and my parents did not agree when I wanted a divorce as we have a son. I am in touch with my ex-boyfriend, who I am falling in love with again. My husband often comes home late and drunk saying he is unhappy at home.
What should I do?
Sanjivini


answer
Dear Sanjivini,
Your main problem here is that you have no support. Your husband has been unfaithful. Your sister has betrayed you. Your parents don't seem to understand the strain you're under. And my bet is that you also feel pressure from your community to stay in your marriage.

So the main thing is to get as much support as you can. Talk to friends. Most of all, ring the Muslim Women's Helpline on 020 8908 6715 and talk to them about your options, practical and emotional. Your problems are made much worse by the fact that you're isolated and alone.

Finally, it is tempting to keep in touch with your ex-boyfriend, but for the moment, try to hold back. Yes, he'll give you support - but contact with him could make things more complicated, and will make you much less able to cope. Get your home situation sorted out first - separate from your husband before you start up again with your ex.

I hope everything gets solved for you.
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