Which life level are you at?

Adapt to this level by checking out your expectations beforehand - they'll be different to your partner's: everything from where you'll live to who washes the dishes, to how often you entertain his friends. Take the time to check out fully with each other what you each want and need and update that from time to time.

Level 2: Having children
Becoming a parent is wonderful. But it's also a big stress physically and a huge responsibility emotionally. You may go off sex because you're weary, he may feel sidelined because of the new arrival.

Adapt to this level by getting lots of support - from your health visitor, friends and family. If you're feeling particularly lonely and isolated, contact the organisation Meet-A-Mum; help line 020 8768 0123 (7pm-10pm Mon-Fri).

If you're really low, then it could be postnatal depression, so see your GP, and buy Antenatal and Post-natal Depression by Siobhan Curham; published by Vermilion £9.99. Or contact The Association for Post-natal Illness for advice and support. http://www.apni.org/

Also remember that you and your partner need regular time alone to rebuild your relationship now there is a new family member.