Which life level are you at?

Adapt to this level by... turning this one on its head and making it positive. Use the energy left over now you're easing back on your job to take a course, a new job, get a makeover or travel. If your self-confidence plummets read Overcoming Low Self-esteem by Melanie Fennell; published by Robinson £7.99.

Level 4: Empty nesting
Excellent - the children are off your hands and you can be a couple again. Just one problem. You miss the children, miss being needed, so you now feel a bit of a spare part. And it could be that you and your partner are so used to being parents that you've forgotten how to be close and loving partners.

Adapt to this level by making new friends to fill the spaces where your children used to be. Make plans to travel somewhere new. If you feel your relationship has lost its edge, don't be embarrassed to ask for help - contact your local Relate branch http://www.relate.org.uk/ (number in the phone book) for a list of relationship counsellors in your area.

Some of these Life Levels will be in the future for you. But it's still worthwhile looking ahead. If you know they're coming, and can plan and prepare, then you can be sure - at each level - to rise to the challenge.

For more in-depth reading on Life Levels and how they affect relationships, buy Crunch Points for Couples by Julia Cole; published by Sheldon Press £6.99.

All the best
Sue Quilliam