Christmas Day dawns with the two of you happy and in love. Perhaps you make love first thing, then curl up in front of the fire together to open your presents.

The reality:

You've both been so stressed getting ready for the holiday that Christmas Eve eve is spent arguing. Christmas morning is spent preparing lunch and getting under each other's feet.

Over lunch, at least one of you drinks too much and goes to sleep in front of the television. And then you fall into bed exhausted, not speaking.

Follow these tips and this year you can bring the dream to life..

Chill out

Cut back on your expectations of the day so that you don't overwork and overdo it. It's better to have a calm, happy Christmas together than to expect a perfect one that just ends in disappointment.

Decide on a division of labour up front, so that one of you doesn't do all the work. Give yourselves regular breaks to get your breath back, particularly if you have kids to look after.

Get to know each other again

Carve out some time just for yourselves over the Christmas holiday. Send the children to Grandma's, lock the door to friends, take the phone off the hook. Be together.

If you can, do something romantic that doesn't involve Christmas. Go out for a meal and stare at each other in the candlelight.

Get lots of physical contact. Snuggle up together on the sofa. Also, take some time over to sit and swap notes on the best times you've had in the past year and the hopes and dreams for the coming year.

ivillage uk

Dreaming of a loving Christmas

The dream:

The reality:

Chill out

Get to know each other again