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continued from page 1
Family fortunes
What's the problem?
You both love your families, but they drive you crazy. Each of you finds your in-laws hard to handle and these power plays between relatives rumble throughout the holiday festivities.
Why is this happening?
Partnerships are a way of bringing whole families together - but all the different personalities within families are bound to cause friction. It's natural for each partner to side with their own family group - and sometimes even against their partner.
What's the solution?
Stand together against the world - even though it may be tempting to side with your family against your irritating other half. Discuss ahead of time with your partner what your individual needs are and then back each other up.
Work, work, work!
What's the problem?
Christmas involves a great deal of work - and guess who normally does that work? Yes, you! All the work can leave you feeling exhausted and resentful and feeling you've done everything while your man's done nothing.
Why is this happening?
In any situation, the person who feels most strongly that it needs to be done usually does all the work. The reason your man doesn't lend a hand is probably that it isn't as vital to him to have a perfectly-organised Christmas.
What's the solution?
Question what you're doing and your standards. It may be worth cutting corners if that leaves you more relaxed and less irritated. For next year, negotiate with your partner. What does he want to do? What do you not want to do? Might it work better to simply take off for Christmas and let a hotel do all the hard work?
Festive spirit
What's the problem?
Alcohol can create Christmas trouble between you. Perhaps one of you drinks more than the other, or too much booze leads to arguments.
Why does it happen?
Given the amount of booze that is floating round at Christmas, any vulnerability around alcohol is bound to come to the surface.
What's the solution?
The obvious answer is to cut down on alcohol, by buying less, not mixing your drinks, only drinking with meals or cutting out drinking altogether. If one or both of you are unwilling to cut down, think seriously about whether you have a booze problem. Ring the Drinkline on 0800 917 8282 (Mon-Sun 9am-11pm).
Family fortunes
What's the problem?
You both love your families, but they drive you crazy. Each of you finds your in-laws hard to handle and these power plays between relatives rumble throughout the holiday festivities.
Why is this happening?
Partnerships are a way of bringing whole families together - but all the different personalities within families are bound to cause friction. It's natural for each partner to side with their own family group - and sometimes even against their partner.
What's the solution?
Stand together against the world - even though it may be tempting to side with your family against your irritating other half. Discuss ahead of time with your partner what your individual needs are and then back each other up.
Work, work, work!
What's the problem?
Christmas involves a great deal of work - and guess who normally does that work? Yes, you! All the work can leave you feeling exhausted and resentful and feeling you've done everything while your man's done nothing.
Why is this happening?
In any situation, the person who feels most strongly that it needs to be done usually does all the work. The reason your man doesn't lend a hand is probably that it isn't as vital to him to have a perfectly-organised Christmas.
What's the solution?
Question what you're doing and your standards. It may be worth cutting corners if that leaves you more relaxed and less irritated. For next year, negotiate with your partner. What does he want to do? What do you not want to do? Might it work better to simply take off for Christmas and let a hotel do all the hard work?
Festive spirit
What's the problem?
Alcohol can create Christmas trouble between you. Perhaps one of you drinks more than the other, or too much booze leads to arguments.
Why does it happen?
Given the amount of booze that is floating round at Christmas, any vulnerability around alcohol is bound to come to the surface.
What's the solution?
The obvious answer is to cut down on alcohol, by buying less, not mixing your drinks, only drinking with meals or cutting out drinking altogether. If one or both of you are unwilling to cut down, think seriously about whether you have a booze problem. Ring the Drinkline on 0800 917 8282 (Mon-Sun 9am-11pm).
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