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All about the L-word
'I love you.' They may look little, but they're the three biggest words in the English language. Say them at the right time, and it's bliss, but blurt them out too soon, and it may kill a fledgling relationship
Their absence can weigh heavy, too. If you're in a relationship that seems happy, secure, exciting and serious (or getting that way), but your man can't or won't say 'I love you,' it's frustrating. It can also make you feel very insecure.
If it's any consolation, every newly-coupled man and woman is scared of the L word. Read on to find out why, and what to do about it.
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1. Don't jump too soon
When you get together with a man, those first few weeks are an ecstatic whirlwind of lust and goo-goo-eyes. You're high as a kite. He is perfect. You're bursting to say 'I love you'.
Take a tip: shut up. Here's why:
Oh, the shame...
If you've ever said it to someone who didn't feel the same way, you'll curl up in shame at the memory. You said: 'I love you,' and your new boyfriend said: 'What? Oh...'. He knew that it was too soon; and suddenly you did, too.
Point of no return
This awful moment is all the worse for being a point of no return. You sound desperate and rob yourself of dignity. It's a serious passion-killer, and kills the momentum between you. In other words, you've strangled your relationship at birth.
Rose-tinted specs
If you think he's perfect, you know it's too soon to say you're in love. You're infatuated with him, so you can't see his faults. Only when you know and accept his faults can you be sure that you love him.
Embrace your lust
In the early weeks of a relationship, you want to spend 24 hours a day having sex and/or gazing into his eyes and/or nuzzling his armpit. You're in giddy, besotted lust - and lucky you! Embrace it, because it doesn't last long. Don't spoil it by blurting out 'love'.
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