All about the L-word

2. How to time it right

Count to three
Leave it until you've been dating for at least three months. By this time, the druggy high is wearing off and you know that it's not just a fling. You also know each other better, which means that you're idealising each other a little less.

Five is the magic number
Waiting five or even six months to say 'I love you' may seem like a stretch, but it shows that you really mean it. Your man will know you've really given it thought. You know him very well now, so saying 'I love you' for the first time is a huge compliment.

Give things a boost
Leaving it this long also helps your relationship move on. By the six-month stage, you may start to mourn the loss of that early pie-eyed magic. Hearing 'I love you' for the first time takes your relationship to a new stage in a way that it could never do on date number three.

Start meeting singles near you for fun, love or romance

3. How (not) to say it

Business time
Don't say 'I love you' for the first time just after sex or, needless to say, while you're midway through the deed. You're giddy and sexed-up and not exactly clear in the head. When a man says 'I love you' during sex, he generally means: 'Oooh I love that...'

Boozy blurting
Don't blurt it out when you're drunk, at least not the first time. Drunken declarations of love are best left to beer-swilling mates who've got lager dribbling down their T-shirts.

Up close and personal
Say it in person. Your first 'I love you' is a big moment and should be accompanied by at least some chance of eye contact and canoodling. After that, it's fine to utter the L word by phone, text or whatever.

Do you...?
Don't ask if they love you back. 'I love you...do you love me too?' makes you sound insecure, and is bound to lead to an awkward moment. Let him say it if he wants to.

When he won't say it
He may be terrified of making a fool of himself. If you've been together a while, don't be scared to say it first. But if he never says it at all (the 'I shouldn't have to say it, you should know' brigade), he may not be emotionally literate enough for you. Who needs a dinosaur who can't express his feelings?

The coward's option
If you're itching to say it and you think the time is right, but you're not sure that it's reciprocated, say: 'I think I may be falling for you.' If he gets an 'eek' look in his eyes, cut your losses. Say '...but you know, I'm just not sure what I want.' And run for your life.

read more:  previous | 1 |  2 | printer friendly send to a friend