Gone off sex

So, while it may feel strange to question your relationship, you do need to look at it. Do you still have a working partnership? Are you still in love? If in your heart you know you’re not, be brave enough to admit it to yourself.

Even if you know you do still love and care, you might be suffering from the biggest enemy of desire – anger. Over the years, many things may have happened to make you irritated with each other. From the betrayal of an affair to a series of small irritations, disagreements, rows, perhaps a whole range of disappointments. You feel he doesn’t help around the house, he accuses you of nagging and neither of you feel loved or wanted. This build up of anger will block all sexual feeling, and so desire dies.

The only solution is to dissolve this anger, which is not necessarily an easy process. You need to identify what you are angry about – and the list may be long.

Ideally, talk these issues through with your partner, clear the air, forgive each other and then learn ways to stop anger building up again.

If you can’t discuss issues with your partner without tempers exploding, then a counsellor such as Relate can help you – with or without your partner.