I have the most wonderful relationship I've ever had, in which there is trust, love, intimacy and respect between us. Just one problem, my boyfriend is leaving for a working holiday for one or two years. He wants us to break up as he says he needs to be completely free to find himself on this trip. When he gets back, we'll see how we feel about each other and maybe get back together. I realise there is a possibility that he will meet someone else, although he assures me this is not the reason for the trip - he was planning it before he met me. He says it's just a case of bad timing and that I'm everything he wants in a woman, but that he needs this life experience. He's the only man I want and I love him. Is it foolish to wait for him?

answer

I don't think it's foolish. If this is the man of your dreams, and you are the woman of his dreams, then you would be mad not to wait for him.

But if somewhere down the line you change your mind, don't think you're being stupid, disloyal or inconsistent. Two years is a long time, and you'll both change a lot. In particular - and I don't wish to scare you here - your man's 'life experience' will make him a very different person. It could be that you are perfect for each other now - but that you won't be perfect for each other in the future.

Keep in touch as much as possible - use phone, text and email to update each other about your experiences and how you are changing. This will make it much more likely that you will keep pace with each other, and will still care when you get back together again.

If you can, go and spend some time with him during his working break. See where he is living, what he is doing, how is developing. That will make it much easier for you to appreciate what he's getting out of this and to celebrate his experience with him.

If things don't work out, don't blame yourself. But if they do, you'll both be glad that you supported him in doing what he needs to do.

ivillage uk

Am I a fool to wait?