Communication & arguing
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Clear the air
We all know good communication is at the heart of every good relationship. Whether it's been a wonderful or a rotten day, whether there's been a crisis or a triumph, sharing it in words makes you and your partner feel more understood, more appreciated, more loved. The ability to communicate well is the most important relationship skill of all.
Here are five foolproof lessons to help you both talk and listen effectively and conquer bad communication habits for good.
Lesson One: listen well
Though you probably listen to your partner a lot, do you listen effectively? Half-hearted attention, with one eye on the kids or EastEnders, is often worse than not listening at all because it comes across as if you're not interested. Instead:
- Set aside ten or twenty minutes with each other every day to 'update'. If you have a busy life, it can seem like time wasted, but make sure concerns are aired and you understand each other. It really can avoid problems down the line.
- When you are listening, aim to make your partner the centre of attention. Turn to him, look at him, and put other thoughts aside until he's finished speaking.
- Use positive body language to acknowledge what he's saying with a nod or a smile. He'll feel appreciated and therefore more likely to listen to you.
- To show you've listened, repeat back what you've heard or ask a focussed question. This shows him you understand and sympathise.
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