The great escape

Don't expect holiday perfection

Though holidays can be the ideal setting for rekindling intimacy, they can also be the final straw for a relationship. And problems can begin before you've even set off if the chosen destination isn't right for both of you. If he needs a complete break because he's overworked and you need a buzzing holiday because you've been trapped at home - things will be bad from the start. Avoid resentment by using your communication skills to talk through your needs. This will help you to arrive at a happy and sensible compromise if you want different things.

When you arrive, bear in mind that you're probably not used to being together 24 hours a day. It can be stressful. If you feel the need to spend some time alone - a morning or afternoon doing your own thing - it doesn't mean your relationship is a disaster. In fact, it could spell the difference between a fraught or happy holiday.

Another typical problem is control. You want to do one thing, your partner wants to do another. The trick here is to make a list of what you both want, then agree to do the majority of things over the course of the holiday. This way, no one feels short-changed. If rows do start, hold your breath and count to ten, or even agree to take half an hour apart to cool down. Remember to always kiss and make-up before going to bed that night.

The final holiday danger happens when you get back. Post-holiday syndrome is a condition brought on by the anticlimax of coming home. It leads to irritability, tearfulness and, in some cases, depression. Prevent this by giving yourselves something to look forward to when you return - organise a fun day out or book a short break for a few weeks later. Having something planned could ensure that your first night back home is not marked by a stressful row.