Clear the air

Women and men's talking styles are very different. They can glaze over if we bombard them with too much talk.

• Don't ramble on, giving him a sort of 'stream of consciousness' of how you think and feel. Talk in bite-sized chunks so he can take his turn and digest what you're saying.

• Keep 'checking in', noticing his body language to find out whether he's still involved in what you're saying. If he seems distracted, it may be he's just confused. So make your point again a different way.

• If you're talking about something emotional or intimate that might stress him, cut out distractions, such as children or the family dog. Then move in close and touch. He'll relax and be more able to interact with you.

• Don't be put off if he rushes in with a solution before you're ready. Women need to talk round a problem, and explore their feelings about it. Men feel better going straight for the action. His 'fix it' comment means he wants to help, wants to sort things out so you don't feel bad any more.

• Show him how to listen. Show him just how loved you feel when he keeps eye contact as you talk; when he responds to what you say; when he asks you questions. Tell him particularly when his good listening gets a result, when it helps you make the right decision or feel more positive about a situation.

• Show him how to talk, particularly about sensitive issues. Look out for his signals of wanting to confide - a broody silence, more hugs than usual, seeming irritable. When you spot these signs, give him space to express himself and he'll slowly learn that opening up is a positive thing to do.