Clear the air

• If you consistently talk about yourself, he will feel pushed out. Break the habit by asking more questions.

• If you use closed body language, he will feel rejected. Break the habit by deliberately uncrossing your arms and legs, and smiling more.

• If you keep interrupting, he will feel unheard. Break the habit by learning his signals for 'it's your turn now' - such as slowing down, looking at you, gesturing you to speak. Then only speaking when he offers those.

• If you keep answering for him when he's asked a question, he will quite rightly object. Break the habit by agreeing a signal or code word that he can use to 'nudge' you if you're starting to do this.

• If you carry on communicating when you are irritated, you'll end up irritating him too. Break the habit - and avoid rows - by taking at least 20 minutes apart before carrying on the conversation.

Sometimes, communicating will actually make things worse. If there's a crisis, a rush, or you're both tired, cranky or drunk, you don't have time to talk and if you did, it would only up the ante. So do the sensible thing and wait. Agreeing that you will touch down that evening, or tomorrow is a much better deal, because then you can communicate calmly, lovingly and with all the time in the world.

Do any of these communication lessons hit a raw nerve? Tell us about it on the The highs and lows of being a couple message board.