Communication & arguing
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Unresolved arguments
I am 24 years old and have been married for over two years. My husband is 43 and has been divorced once. Whenever my husband and I have an argument it never seems to be resolved. We end up not talking to each other for about a week. I try asking him to sit down and talk but he tells me that as he is wrong there is no point. I end up going out for a few hours, get home and it seems to be over, in that the argument is not referred to again, but I don't feel this resolves the original problem. What can I do and how can I sort this out?
So while you desperately want to keep discussing the issues, your husband desperately wants to forget them. The result is that you aren't getting the talking you need in order to recover - and he isn't getting the emotional space he needs in order to survive.
Bearing in mind this gender difference in approach, here's my advice. You have to learn to spot your arguments coming much, much earlier - before your husband can get emotionally flooded. So don't wait until remarks get snippy, voices rise or body language gets tense. Instead, watch out for the very first signal that there is a disagreement on the horizon - perhaps a twinge of tension in your stomach, or a slight look on your husband's face. And act then, at that very moment, to calm things down.
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