Clutter crisis

8. Take action: After three months of trying to condition him to tidy up (remember - grit your teeth but don't pick up after him), declare a council of war if there's been no improvement. Tell him you've decided not to clear up after him anymore and that the issue is causing a serious problem in your relationship. Explain that keeping the place orderly is something that means a lot to you. Compare its importance to something that's special or meaningful to him.

9. Don't be childish: Under no circumstance storm out of the house or ignore your partner when you get fed up with his messiness. These childlike responses create more problems than solutions because they bring the argument to a standstill and don't allow you to move forward.

10. Take advantage of free time: In the time you save not cleaning up after him, enjoy yourself. Go out with your girlfriends or plan a special night with your partner to reward yourselves for successfully making a compromise.

Although this list may seem overwhelming at first, I got through the first three in just a few days. Currently, I'm tackling number four. So far, the ivy has been cut away so it's no longer growing in through the bathroom window, the rubbish bin is clean, but the pants are still on the floor. And that's where they'll stay.