Relationships 

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Living together, growing apart?

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Danger zone: 'We're too busy to talk!'
Time and space are two things many couples don't have enough of. Tina - one of my clients - has been living with her partner for five years, along with her two children from her first marriage. She feels as though she never sees her partner because after a busy day at work and putting the children to bed, they just collapse with exhaustion.

Never actually seeing each other although you live together is a common complaint from cohabiting couples. When you're dating you make time for each other, but when living together, other sides of your life take priority, which can mean you end up like passing ships in the night.

Feeling too busy to talk can put a relationship under a lot of pressure. You need to talk, not just about practical and domestic issues, but about each other, in order to keep your emotional bond strong.

Solution: Make time, keep talking

• Develop your communication skills. Remember that listening to your partner is the way you show that their thoughts and feelings are important to you; it's a key way to build up credits in the love bank.
  
• Carve out daily, uninterrupted time together, even if it means you have to stay up late.
• If you are feeling exhausted by work, you may have to make a tough choice between work and your relationship. It may be worth cutting back on career commitment in order to make your relationship work.
  
• Read my book Stop Arguing, Start Talking. (Vermilion, £6.99)

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