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Rekindle your love life this Christmas
The intensity of the long Christmas break, an empty wallet and numerous family visits can put pressure on any happy relationship. Psychologist and sex expert Dr Pam Spurr looks at six ways to make your love life festive and saucy this year
By the time you have used your energy on work parties, school events, preparing food, buying and wrapping gifts, there is very little time left for the pair of you.
It only takes a little bit of thought and creativity to protect your relationship from seasonal stress and to enhance your romantic and sexual enjoyment. Unfortunately, many couples assume their relationship can survive anything. But seasonal neglect and pent-up frustrations means that more couples break up in January than any other time of year.
1. Dangerous liaisons for your diary
At the end of November, or early December, liaise over your diaries and mark in some special dates together. I recommend two, or ideally three, blocks of time that you treat as proper dates with each other. These can be evening dates or any time on a Saturday or Sunday morning or afternoon. Once you've agreed them, protect that time together.
On each of these 'dates' you're both barred from discussing the stresses and strains of the Christmas season. Instead, pretend that it's like your first few dates where you were finding out about each other. Give each other permission to flag up if you start droning on about Christmas problems.
Also, mark the '12 Days of Sex-mas' in your calendar! This is for the small things that end up giving you a big result in the romance department. On each of the days leading up to Christmas, write down one little flirtatious or seductive thing you're going to do. Brainstorm now! For example, arrange to meet your lover for some grown-up Christmas shopping where you both choose some sexy underwear and adult toys. Or you might send them a particularly loving or sexy email one day or surprise them with a dinner-in-bed one night.
2. Create your own 'Christmas corner'
People let their living spaces get crowded with all sorts of odds and ends, knick-knacks and paperwork. Not only does this crowd their living areas, it crowds out their life and relationship. Clear out one area of your sitting room or bedroom to create a sexy little 'Christmas corner' for the two of you to snuggle up in every evening.
Have your CD player nearby (and television off), play some soft music, and cuddle and chat, even if it's only for 10 minutes. This sort of bonding time can make the world of difference to your stress levels.
To spice things up in this corner, keep a 'Santa's box of sexy secrets'. This will contain all the little things you two need to get sexy with each other. For example, your favourite lubricant or massage oil, sex toys, a pot of honey, or even a blindfold or handcuffs! These things will come in handy if snuggling in your Christmas corner puts you in the mood for more.
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